Caddyshack (1980)
John F. Barmon Jr.: Spaulding Smails
Photos
Quotes
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Spalding Smails : I want a hamburger... no, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips. I want...
[gets cut off by Judge Smails, who grabs him by the arms and yanks him to their table]
Judge Smails : You'll get nothing, and like it!
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Judge Smails : Spaulding, get dressed you're playing golf.
Spalding Smails : No I'm not grandpa I'm playing tennis.
Judge Smails : You're playing golf and you're going to like it.
Spalding Smails : What about my asthma?
Judge Smails : I'll give you asthma.
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[Caddy Danny arrives among the rich in his yachting outfit]
Spalding Smails : Ahoy polloi... where did you come from, a scotch ad?
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Spalding Smails : This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.
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Spalding Smails : Doodie!
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Spalding Smails : Turds.
Judge Smails : Spaulding, how many times have I spoken to you about your language?
Spalding Smails : Sorry grandpa I forgot.
Judge Smails : Oh Dr. Beeper, Bishop Pickering this is my niece Lacey Underall. Lacey's mother sent her to us for the summer.
Dr. Beeper : Must be a nice change from dreary old Manhattan.
Lacey Underall : Yes I was really getting tired of having fun all the time.
Judge Smails : Ah. Ho ho. Ha ha ha.
Spalding Smails : Double turds.
Judge Smails : *Spaulding*!
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Pre-deb : [hits a joint, coughs] What kind of sh**t is this?
Spalding Smails : It's the best, man-I got it from a negro.
Spalding Smails : You're probably so high already you don't even know it.
