Diner (1982)

Daniel Stern: Shrevie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Shrevie : Ok, now ask me what's on the flip side.

  Beth : Why?

  Shrevie : Just, just ask me what's on the flip side, OK?

  Beth : What is on the flip side?

  Shrevie : Hey, Hey, Hey, 1958. Specialty Records.

  [Beth nods blankly] 

  Shrevie : See? You don't ask me things like that, do you? No! You never ask me what's on the flip side.

  Beth : No! Because I don't give a shit. Shrevie, who cares about what's on the flip side about the record?

  Shrevie : I do! Every one of my records means something! The label, the producer, the year it was made. Who was copying whose style... who's expanding on that, don't you understand? When I listen to my records they take me back to certain points in my life, OK? Just don't touch my records, ever! You! The first time I met you? Modell's sister's high school graduation party, right? 1955. And Ain't That A Shame was playing when I walked into the door!

• Eddie : Shrev, you happy with your marriage or what?

  Shrevie : I don't know.

  Eddie : What do you mean, you don't know? You don't know?

  Shrevie : What?

  Eddie : How could you not? You don't know? How could you not know?

  Shrevie : I don't know! Beth is terrific and everything, but, just, I don't know. I tell you a big part of the problem, though, when you get married. You know, when you're dating, everything is talking about sex. Right? Where can we do it? You know, why can't we do it? Are your parents gonna be out so - so we can do it, you know? Trying to get a weekend, just so we can do it.

  Eddie : So they can do it, right.

  Shrevie : Everything is always talkin' about gettin' sex, and then planning the wedding, all the details.

  Eddie : Details, shit.

  Shrevie : But then, when you get married - it's crazy, i dunno. I mean, you can get it whenever you want it! You wake up in the morning and she's there. You come home from work and she's there. And so all that sex planning talk is over with. And so is the wedding planning talk cause you're already married.

  Eddie : Right.

  Shrevie : So - you know, I can come down here and we can bullshit the whole night away but I cannot hold a five minute conversation with Beth. I mean, it's not her fault, I'm not blaming her, she's great. It's...

  Eddie : Nah, of course not.

  Shrevie : It's just, we got nothin' to talk about. But, it's good. It's good.

  Eddie : It's good. It's nice, right.

  Shrevie : Yeah, it's nice.

  Eddie : Well, we always got the Diner.

  Shrevie : Yeah, we always got the Diner.

• Shrevie : What happened?

  Fenwick : All I did was I parked the car on a nice lonely road, I looked at her, and I said, "Fuck or fight."

  Shrevie : Hey, that's a good line.

  Eddie : Maniac.

  Modell : You always know exactly what to say.

• Boogie : You want to bet that she goes for my pecker - first thing?

  Fenwick : The only hand on your pecker is going to be your own

  Boogie : You want to bet me? You want to bet me twenty?

  Fenwick : Yeah.

  Eddie : I'm in.

  Modell : Me too.

  Shrevie : Yeah, I'm in too. But, we need validation.

  Boogie : All right. I'll arrange it.

  Shrevie : How? You gonna get - finger prints? I'm tellin' ya, I'm not gonna do the dustin'.

• [last lines] 

  Modell : It used to be so cool to be older and hang out here and, now...

  Shrevie : Now we're older and we're cooler and we're still hanging out here.

• Beth : You know, Elyse's mother is very upset with Eddie. You see, they picked out this yellow and white motif for the wedding. You know, like we did. Napkins. Tablecloth. Bridesmaids. Maid of Honor. The whole bit. Anyway, Eddie objected. He wanted blue and white - Colts colors. He refused to give in.

  Shrevie : So?

  Beth : Well, you know how stubborn Eddie is.

  Shrevie : It could have been worse. It could have been black and gold - Steelers colors.

• Eddie : You can't compare Mathis to Sinatra. There's no way! No way. They're in totally different leagues.

  Shrevie : Eddie, they're both great singers.

  Modell : You know, the thing about Sinatra, he's good, but, thin. I don't like that.

• Modell : Who do you make-out to? Sinatra or Mathis?

  Eddie : That's a stupid question.

  Modell : One question. Answer that.

  Eddie : It's irrelevant. I won't answer it. Mathis.

  Modell : How 'bout you Shrev?

  Shrevie : I'm married! We don't make-out.

• Billy : Are you going to law school?

  Boogie : Yeah. I thought I could give it a pop. I'm still working at the Beauty Salon in the daytime.

  Fenwick : You were so good at the Beauty Salon.

  Shrevie : 'Cut-n-Fuck' Two-fifty.

  Boogie : All right. All right. You guys laugh.

  Shrevie : Did you ever think of doing your own hair there?

• Shrevie : Have you been playing my records?

  Beth : Yeah, so?

  Shrevie : So, didn't I tell you the procedure?

  Beth : Yeah, you told me all about it, Shrevie. They have to be in alphabetical order.

  Shrevie : And what else?

  Beth : Ah, they have to be filed alphabetically and according to year, as well, okay.

  Shrevie : And what else? What else!

  Beth : I don't know.

  Shrevie : You don't know? Well, let me give you a hint. Okay? I found my James Brown record filed under the the "J"s - instead of the "B"s! I don't know who taught you to alphabetize! But, to top it off, he's in the rock-n-roll section! Instead of the R&B section! How can you do that?

  Beth : It's too complicated, Shrevie. You see, every time I pull out a record, there's this whole procedure I have to go through. I just want to hear the music, that's all.

  Shrevie : Is it too complicated to just keep my records in the category, okay? Just put the rock-n-roll in with the rock-n-roll! Put the R&B in with the R&B! I mean, you're not going to put Charlie Parker in with the rock-n-roll, would you? Would you?

  Beth : I dunno. Who is Charlie Parker?

  Shrevie : [exasperated]  Jazz! Jazz! He was the greatest - jazz saxophone player that ever lived!

  Beth : What are you gettin' so crazy about? It's just music. It's not that big a deal.

• Billy : I can't believe that Eddie is getting married.

  Boogie : It's crazy. I mean with Shrevie, here, it was nuts. With Eddie, it's lunacy.

  Shrevie : Hey! Marriage is all right. I'm not complaining.

  Boogie : Not complaining? Huh? That sounds wonderful.

• Boogie : I bet you I can ball Carol Heathrow on the next date.

  Fenwick : Now, you're nuts.

  Eddie : No.

  Modell : Come on, Boog.

  Boogie : You want to bet me 50 bucks a guy?

  Eddie : Fifty?

  Shrevie : It's like stealin' money from you Boog.

  Boogie : Are you in?

  Shrevie : Yeah, I'm in. I'm bettin'. I'm in!

• Eddie : Let's see, it's two more days to the test and, if she passes, its two more days to the thing. Marriage.

  Shrevie : So, where you guys going? You gonna go to Puerto Rico?

  Eddie : No, Cuba.

  Shrevie : Cuba, that's nice. My parents' friends, the Copelands, they go there every year.