Porky's (1981)

Cyril O'Reilly: Tim

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tim : Anybody wanna go fly a kite with me tonight? I hear it's great weather for flying KITES! I wonder if there's any KITES around here we can fly!

  Brian Schwartz : Hey listen, Cavanaugh. It's not kite, it's KIKE! K-I-K-E, "kike." You know, you're too stupid to even be a good bigot!

• Mr. Cavanaugh : Look's like I'm gonna make a man out of you yet, boy.

  Tim : [clearly disgusted]  A man? If being a man means being what you are, I'd rather be queer.

• Tim : [pushing Brian out of his father's site and taking his place]  Get outta here.

  Mr. Cavanaugh : What?

  Tim : You heard what I said.

  Mr. Cavanaugh : Well, who ya talking to, boy?

  Tim : [relaxing]  Trash. Pure trash.

  Mr. Cavanaugh : Now, son, that's no way to talk to your pa.

  Tim : [looks back at everyone else watching then back at him]  You know, I really wish you hadn't said that, because you don't know how humiliating it is to have anyone even know you're my pa.

  [gets smacked hard across the face. Meat is now trying to get at Tim's father but is being held back by everyone; Tim yells at Meat] 

  Tim : Stay out of this!

  [back to his father] 

  Tim : You make sure you're finished, because this is going to be the last time you ever lay a hand on me again, you SON OF A BITCH!

  [is taken up against the wall and smacked repeatedly] 

• Coach Goodenough : [During a basketball drill, Tim clearly trips Brian] 

  [He blows his whistle] 

  Coach Goodenough : Cavanaugh, get off the floor!

  Tim : It was an accident, coach.

  Coach Goodenough : Bullshit, that was no accident! Get off the floor, now! You're suspended indefinitely! No one who plays like that plays for me! MOVE!

  [Tim goes, he then turns to Brian] 

  Coach Goodenough : You okay, son?

  [Brian nods] 

• Brian Schwartz : [as he and Tommy run by a layup drill, Tim catches the ball then intentionally throws it to Brian's feet] 

  [Sarcastically] 

  Brian Schwartz : Nice pass, Kavanaugh!

  Tim : Too bad, Jew-boy!

  Tommy Turner : Tim! What's your problem, man?

• Tommy Turner : [to the rest of the guys at Cherry Forever's house]  Okay, Cherry's ready. Everyone get their clothes off.

  Tim : Wait. What's this bullshit?

  Billy : She's got to make sure everybody clean. No VD.

  Steve : How's she going to tell that by looking at us?

  Tommy Turner : She's done this so many times, she's practically a doctor.

  Tim : Yeah, and who's going to inspect her?

  [murmurs of agreement from the rest of the guys] 

  Billy : Look, you guys want to get laid or have a debate?

  Pee Wee Morris : Okay, I'm ready!

  [they turn to see Pee-Wee wasted no time stripping down, then laughter of all kinds go through the crowd, which Pee-Wee ignores] 

  Pee Wee Morris : I'm gonna get laid. Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus.

• Sheriff Wallace : Well, it looks like to me we got five Angel Beach assholes here. Yes, sir. Five walkin' talkin' rectums.

  [Sheriff chuckles; to Mickey] 

  Sheriff Wallace : Where's your car, boy?

  Mickey : [points to his Ford pick-up truck]  Right there.

  Sheriff Wallace : You from Seward County?

  Mickey : Yeah.

  Sheriff Wallace : Well, I don't know much about the laws in Seward County, but we got laws here about driving with busted headlights.

  Mickey : I don't have a busted headlight.

  Sheriff Wallace : Don't have a busted headlight?

  [the Sheriff smashes the right-side headlight of Mickey's truck; Porky and his goons laughs] 

  Mickey : [shocked]  Shit!

  Sheriff Wallace : That's a $35.00 fine. Thirty-five bucks or a night in jail!

  Tommy Turner : I've got fifteen bucks.

  Pee Wee Morris : I've got-I've got five.

  Sheriff Wallace : You got five, you got fifteen, huh?

  Meat : I've got twelve.

  Tim : I think I got three.

  Porky : [to his goons]  Watch this.

  [the Sheriff then smashes the rear right-side taillight] 

  Mickey : [grows angry]  Goddamn it!

  [Porky and his goons laughing] 

  Sheriff Wallace : You got a busted taillight, too. That's 20 more dollars. Can you cover it?

  Mickey : I've got ten.

  Sheriff Wallace : Give it to me! Give me all you got.

  [the Sheriff starts collecting the boys money, but stops midway] 

  Sheriff Wallace : Well, I guess I can show a little leniency for first offenders. Whadaya say, Pork? Should I give these nice lads a break?

  Porky : Oh, they seem like a nice bunch of clean-cut Angel Beach pussies. A little smelly. Yeah, give 'em a break.

  Sheriff Wallace : You heard the man. You get your candy-asses back over to Seward County and you keep 'em there. This here's a "man's" county. Go on, get the fuck out. Go on. Go on!

  [the boys pile up in Mickey's truck] 

  Sheriff Wallace : Go on. Here we go! Here we go! Goin' home now, ain't we?

  Porky : [to his goons]  I don't think they'll be comin' back. Let's go back inside and get some beer.