Tootsie (1982)
Bill Murray: Jeff Slater
Photos
Quotes
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Jeff : That is one *nutty* hospital.
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Jeff : You slut!
Michael Dorsey : Don't - don't - don't start in with me. Don't - don't do that. Rape is not a laughing matter.
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Jeff : I don't like it when people come up to me after my plays and say, "I really dug your message, man." Or, "I really dug your play, man, I cried." You know. I like it when people come up to me the next day, or a week later, and they say, "I saw your play. What happened?"
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Jeff : [waking up and seeing Michael as Dorothy] Mom?
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Jeff : I'm just afraid that you're going to burn in Hell for all this.
Michael Dorsey : I don't believe in hell. I believe in unemployment, but I don't believe in hell.
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Jeff : [Michael's half dressed as Dorothy, getting ready for a dinner with Julie] What do you mean you don't have anything to wear?
Michael Dorsey : She has seen me in all of these!
Jeff : She hasn't seen you in that white dress.
Michael Dorsey : What, this?
[holds up a formal white dress]
Jeff : Yeah.
Michael Dorsey : You cannot wear white to a casual dinner. It's too dressy.
Jeff : Can't you wear pants?
Michael Dorsey : Pants?
[pats the fake butt he's wearing then wags his finger No]
Jeff : What about this thing?
[holds up a striped dress]
Michael Dorsey : No. I don't have the right shoes for it, I don't like the way the horizontal lines make me look too hippy, and it cuts me across the bust.
Jeff : [slight pause] I think we're getting into a weird area here.
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Jeff : Mike, I really appreciate you're doing this, but - it is just for the money, isn't it? It's not - just so you can wear these little outfits?
Michael Dorsey : I'm not even gonna answer that. It also happens to be one of the great acting challenges an actor could have.
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Jeff : [to Michael] You know, when you were playing Cyrano and you stuck a saber underneath my armpit in the couch, you know, I didn't say anything. When you were hopping around, ranting about your hump, saying that this was a bell tower, I didn't say anything. But I don't see any reason why I should just sit here pretending I'm not home, just because you're not that kind of girl. Now, that's weird.
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Jeff : I did a thing about suicides of the American Indian. And nobody cared. Nobody showed. And I think the American Indian is *as* American as John and Ethel Barrymore, and Donny and Marie Osmond. I think it's really sad.
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Jeff : I can't write any clearer than I can write, man. It's *in* English.
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Jeff : Maybe there's a morals clause in your contract. Perhaps, if Dorothy did something really filthy or disgusting, they have to let you go. But I really can't think of anything filthy and disgusting that you haven't already done on your show.
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Michael Dorsey : Where's my make-up kit?
Jeff : How long are you gonna keep lying to Sandy like this?
Michael Dorsey : Oh, come on. It's for her own good. I never told Sandy that I wouldn't see other women. Come on. And If, you know, I did tell her, it would only hurt her feelings, and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Especially since Julie and I are just - girlfriends.
