Tootsie (1982)

Sydney Pollack: George Fields

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael Dorsey : Are you saying that nobody in New York will work with me?

  George Fields : No, no, that's too limiting. Nobody in Hollywood wants to work with you either. I can't even set you up for a commercial. You played a *tomato* for 30 seconds - they went a half a day over schedule because you wouldn't sit down.

  Michael Dorsey : Yes. It wasn't logical.

  George Fields : You were a tomato! A tomato doesn't have logic! A tomato can't move!

  Michael Dorsey : That's what I said! So if he can't move, how's he gonna sit down, George? I was a stand-up tomato: a juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato. Nobody does vegetables like me. I did an evening of vegetables off-Broadway. I did the best tomato, the best cucumber. I did an endive salad that knocked the critics on their ass.

  George Fields : Michael, I'm trying to stay calm here. You - are a wonderful actor.

  Michael Dorsey : Thank you.

  George Fields : But, you're too much trouble. Get some therapy.

  Michael Dorsey : [quietly determined]  Okay, thanks. I'm going to raise $8,000 and I'm going to do Jeff's play.

  George Fields : Michael, you're not gonna raise 25 cents.

  [slowly] 

  George Fields : No one will hire you.

  Michael Dorsey : Oh, yeah?

  [Smash cut to Madison Avenue, with people coming and going. The focus gradually notices one woman moving forward unsteadily in high heels. She is Michael] 

• Michael Dorsey : You should have seen the look on her face when she thought I was a lesbian.

  George Fields : "Lesbian"? You just said gay.

  Michael Dorsey : No, no, no - SANDY thinks I'm gay, JULIE thinks I'm a lesbian.

  George Fields : I thought Dorothy was supposed to be straight?

  Michael Dorsey : Dorothy IS straight. Tonight Les, the sweetest, nicest man in the world asked me to marry him.

  George Fields : A guy named Les wants YOU to marry him?

  Michael Dorsey : No, no, no - he wants to marry Dorothy.

  George Fields : Does he know she's a lesbian?

  Michael Dorsey : Dorothy's NOT a lesbian.

  George Fields : I know that, does HE know that?

  Michael Dorsey : Know WHAT?

  George Fields : That, er, I... I don't know.

• George Fields : Where do you come off sending me your roommate's play for you to star in? I'm your agent, not your mother! I'm not supposed to find plays for you to star in - I'm supposed to field offers! And that's what I do!

  Michael Dorsey : 'Field offers?' Who told you that, the Agent Fairy? That was a significant piece of work - I could've been terrific in that part.

  George Fields : Michael, nobody's gonna do that play.

  Michael Dorsey : Why?

  George Fields : Because it's a downer, that's why. Because nobody wants to produce a play about a couple that moved back to Love Canal.

  Michael Dorsey : But that actually happened!

  George Fields : WHO GIVES A SHIT? Nobody wants to pay twenty dollars to watch people living next to chemical waste! They can see that in New Jersey!

• Michael Dorsey : She thinks I'm gay, i told her about Julie and she thinks I'm gay!

  George Fields : Julie thinks your gay?

  Michael Dorsey : No, my friend Sandy.

  George Fields : Sleep with her, and she'll...

  Michael Dorsey : I slept with her once she's still thinks I'm gay!

  George Fields : Oh... thats no good, Michael.

• George Fields : OK, I know this is going to disgust you, Michael, but a lot of people are in this business to make money.

  Michael Dorsey : You make it out like I'm some flake, George. I am in this business to make money, too.

  George Fields : Really?

  Michael Dorsey : Yes!

  George Fields : The Harlem Theatre for the Blind? Strindberg in the Park? The People's Workshop in Syracuse?

  Michael Dorsey : OK, now wait a minute. I did nine plays in eight months up in Syracuse. I happened to get great reviews from the New York critics, not that that's why I did it.

  George Fields : Oh, of course not. God forbid you should lose your standing as a cult failure.

• George Fields : You're too much trouble. Get some therapy.

• George Fields : You are psychotic!

  Michael Dorsey : No, I'm not, I'm employed.

• George Fields : Terry Bishop is on a soap opera. Millions of people watch him every day. He's known.

  Michael Dorsey : And that qualifies him to ruin 'Iceman Cometh'?

• Michael Dorsey : [dressed as Dorothy]  It's Michael Dorsey, okay? Your favorite client. How are you? Last time you got me a job I was a tomato... .

  George Fields : Oh, no, no, no...

  Michael Dorsey : Yeah. Swear to God.

  George Fields : Michael?

  Michael Dorsey : Yeah.

  George Fields : Oh, God! I begged you to get some therapy.

• Michael Dorsey : I feel I have something to say to women. Something meaningful.

  George Fields : Listen to me, Michael. You have nothing to say to women.

  Michael Dorsey : That's not true! I've plenty to say to women! I've been an unemployed actor for 20 years, George. You know that. I know what it's like to sit by the phone waiting for - waiting for it to ring. And when I finally get a job, I have no control! Everybody else has the power, and I got zip! If I could impart that experience to other women like me...

  George Fields : You got to listen to me, Michael! There are no other women like you. You're a man!

  Michael Dorsey : Yes, I realize that, of course. But I'm also an actress.