The Last Starfighter (1984)
Lance Guest: Alex Rogan, Beta Alex
Photos
Quotes
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Centauri : Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history. History! Did Chris Columbus say he wanted to stay home? No! What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Geloca think the Yulus were too ugly to save?
Alex Rogan : Who's Geloca?
Centauri : [hesitates] Never mind.
Alex Rogan : Listen, Centauri, I'm not any of those guys. I'm a kid from a trailer park.
Centauri : If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be!
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Grig : Remember, Death Blossom delivers only one massive volley at close range... theoretically.
Alex Rogan : What do you mean, "theoretically"?
Grig : After all, D.B. has never been tested. It might overload the systems, blow up the ship.
Alex Rogan : What are you worried about, Grig? Theoretically we should already be dead!
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Alex Rogan : Otis, I just never have a chance to have a good time around here.
Otis : Things change. Always do. You'll get your chance! Important thing is, when it comes, you've got to grab with both hands, and hold on tight!
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Alex Rogan : Wait a minute... when did the hangar go up?
Grig : I told you! When Xur attacked!
Alex Rogan : And where were the Starfighters?
Grig : In the hangar!
Alex Rogan : You mean they're dead?
Grig : [scoffs] Death is a primitive concept. I prefer to think of them as battling evil in another dimension.
Alex Rogan : In another dimension? How many are left?
Grig : Including yourself?
Alex Rogan : Yeah.
Grig : One!
Alex Rogan : *One*?
[the Gunstar takes off with its attendant noise drowning out Alex's protests]
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Centauri : [gravely injured] Does he have my money, Alex?
Grig : I have a fortune for you, Centauri.
Alex Rogan : It's here, it's all here. Piles and piles of it. All for you.
Centauri : [smiles weakly] Ah. At last.
[coughs]
Centauri : Alex, I want you to know that it was for the greatest good that I brought you back. Of course... it never hurts to be rich.
[succumbs to his injuries]
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Grig : [looking at battle plans] The Armada will break through the Frontier here, and reach Rylos in about 20 clicks. Squadrons of deck fighters will precede the mothership.
Alex Rogan : Squadrons? How many squadrons?
Grig : It isn't the number of squadrons that concerns me, it's this communication turret that sends out the commands to the deck fighters, which enables them to act as one during the fight.
Alex Rogan : Wait a second. We knock out the turret to get the fighters. But to get the turret, we gotta get *through* the fighters. We're dead!
Grig : I'll have it all figured out by the time we reach the Frontier.
[alarm sounds; Grig's face falls]
Alex Rogan : What's that?
Grig : The Frontier.
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Alex Rogan : Hold it! There's no fleet? No Starfighters, no plan? One ship, you, me, and that's it?
Grig : Exactly! Xur thinks you're still on Earth. Classic military strategy, surprise attack.
Alex Rogan : It'll be a slaughter!
Grig : That's the spirit!
Alex Rogan : No, *my* slaughter! One ship against the whole Armada?
Grig : Yes, one Gunstar against the Armada. I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds.
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Grig : [watching Alex struggling with the gunnery chair] Steady. Don't fight the chair. Take your time. Watch your gun sight. Lead your targets. And above all, relax!
Alex Rogan : [stops to take off his gloves, then continues] Terrific. I'm about to get killed a million miles from nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax.
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Centauri : The amusing thing about this, it's all a big mistake. *That* particular Starfighter game was supposed to be delivered to Vegas, not some flea-speck trailer park in the middle of tumbleweeds and tarantulas. So it must be fate, destiny, blind chance, luck even, that brings us together. And as the poet said, "the rest is history".
Alex Rogan : Where are you going? Where are you taking me?
Centauri : I told you, I want to save it for a surprise. Hey, are you the kind of kid who reads the last page of a mystery first? Who pesters the magician to tell you his tricks? Who sneaks downstairs to peek at his Christmas presents? Noooo, of course you're not.
[singsong voice]
Centauri : That's why I'm not gonna tell you!
Alex Rogan : Oh, God.
Centauri : Besides, I just love surprises, don't you?
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Alex Rogan : [to an alien] I'm sorry, it was an accident. I didn't mean to step on you, uh, whatever that is.
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Louis Rogan : [trying to sleep, angry] What's up, Alex?
Alex Rogan : [walking out] Back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
Beta : You're blowing it, Alex.
Louis Rogan : [looks down from the bed, shocked] What the shit?
Beta : [imitating Alex] I said, back to sleep Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
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Alex Rogan : Centauri! I thought you were dead.
Centauri : Me, die? And miss all the excitement? Ha-ha, no. I was merely dormant while my body repaired itself. Ah well, enough with the details. Suffice it to say, you're on Rylos, my boy. Stop thinking human, that's lesson number one. Lesson number two...
[leans in]
Centauri : You've got a good thing going here. Keep smiling, don't blow it. Lesson number three: Always trust Centauri...
-
[aboard the Kodan command ship]
Maggie Gordon : Termination agent sent one message.
[on Earth]
Beta : There he is. When I give the signal, we're gonna jump, okay?
Maggie Gordon : What do you mean jump?
Beta : We're gonna ram him.
Maggie Gordon : [shocked] What?
Beta : Are you ready? Jump!
Maggie Gordon : Alex!
[She jumps off the truck; aboard the Kodan ship]
Kodan Officer : "Last... Starfighter..."
[on Earth]
Beta : [smiles grimly] You owe me one, Alex.
[He squeezes his eyes shut and plows the truck into the assassin's ship, sacrificing himself]
Maggie Gordon : Alex!
[aboard the Kodan ship]
Kodan Officer : Transmission ended at source, Commander.
Lord Kril : "The Last Starfighter..."
Xur : ...Is dead!
[They both look at him]
Xur : "The Last Starfighter is dead!" Ahead full, to Rylos!
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Grig : This may come as a bit of a shock to you, but he doesn't want to be a Starfighter.
Centauri : [turns to Alex] Doesn't want to be a... Are you a coward? Are you crazy?
Alex Rogan : You didn't tell me about any of this!
Rylan Bursar : Return the money, Centauri.
Centauri : Return the money? Are you delirious? Do you know how long it took to invent the games? To merchandise them? To get them in the stores by Christmas?
Grig : It must be terribly embarrassing for you, and I do sympathize. However...
Centauri : But I saw him fight! He could be the greatest Starfighter ever!
Alex Rogan : That was just a game, Centauri.
Centauri : A game? You may have thought it was a game, but it was also a test. Aha! A test! Sent out across the universe to find those with the gift to be Starfighters. And here you are, my boy. Here you are!
Alex Rogan : Right, here I am, about to be killed!
Centauri : Killed!
[laughs dismissively]
Centauri : You don't seriously think it's dangerous, do you? Don't be silly! Trust me!
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Alex Rogan : [approaching Gunstar 1] Is this *my* Gunstar?
Grig : This is a prototype, different from the other ships. She has greater range, more power, and a slight weapons modification. Of course, she features deflective plating, so she can withstand several direct hits.
[sits in Navigation Chair]
Grig : From here, this is where I navigate the ship, maintain life support and propulsion systems.
Alex Rogan : ...ok. So where do I sit?
Grig : Way up there, in the Gunnery Chair.
[Alex gets on the lift]
Grig : Hang on.
Alex Rogan : Ok.
[hangs on]
Grig : Now, climb into the Gunnery Chair.
[Alex complies, Grig punches a few buttons]
Grig : Now, I'm moving you into launching position. There in front of you are the 2 switches to your heads-up display. Turn them on.
[display turns on]
Grig : While you're engaging the enemy, the screen with reflect all battle instruments towards you.
Alex Rogan : [Alex shifts, cross hair in display disappears] Hey, where did it go?
Grig : It's still there. Suspended in a Xenon mist, but it's only visible if you look dead ahead.
Alex Rogan : [shifts back, cross hair returns] Ah, got it.
Grig : The lever on your left is the Chair Control. As you can see, all weapons track with your every move.
[Alex grabs the lever, is startled when it starts to move with him. Grig laughs, chair stops]
Grig : Grasp the Targeting Control with your right hand. At your fingers is the Weaponry: the Lasers, Photon missiles...
Alex Rogan : ...and the Particle Beams.
[smiles]
Alex Rogan : Hey wait, this is like back home!
[notices a red and white striped panel and touches it]
Alex Rogan : But, what's this?
Grig : Careful! CAREFUL! That's Death Blossom, a weapon of last resort! Luckily, I was in here working on it when the hangar went up.
[Alex looks concerned at hearing this]
Grig : Now are you ready? All systems, Go! IGNITION!
[Gunstar 1 begins launch sequence]
-
[aboard the Gunstar, Alex looks at a photo of himself with his family and friends, focusing on Maggie's face. On Earth, Maggie looks at the burning remains of Beta and the truck, then looks up at the night sky]
Maggie Gordon : I love you, Alex Rogan.
[aboard the Gunstar]
Grig : Six...
Alex Rogan : Heads-up display, check!
Grig : Five...
Alex Rogan : Lasers, check!
Grig : Four...
Alex Rogan : Particle beams, check!
Grig : Three...
Alex Rogan : Proton bombs, check!
Grig : Two...
Alex Rogan : Chair control, check!
Grig : One...
Alex Rogan : Let's do it.
[the Gunstar takes off and flies at the Kodan command ship]
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Alex Rogan : Store's closed, mister.
Centauri : I'm not here for cigarettes or bubble gum, my boy. Can you tell me the name of the person who broke the record on that game over there, and where I might find him?
Alex Rogan : Alex Rogan, and you're looking at him.
Centauri : Alex Rogan. Ha ha ha!
Alex Rogan : Who are you?
Centauri : Centauri's the name. I invented Starfighter, which is why I'm here.
Alex Rogan : It is?
Centauri : It is. We have to talk about a matter of utmost importance. Step into my office.
[gestures toward the back seat of his car]
Centauri : Step into my office.
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Alex Rogan : [calling out] Maggie! You're never going to believe this!
Maggie Gordon : [slaps him, angrily] I told you, Alex! Me and my, how did you put it, "strange sexual urges" aren't talking to you anymore!
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Rylan Bursar : [disgustedly] Rrrr... E sanchay!
Centauri : E sanchay? Onee mat swella! Preeta! Preeta!
Alex Rogan : Centauri, what's going on here?
Centauri : He's just saying how delighted he is that you're here, and if there's anything he can do make your stay more enjoyable, just give him a ring.
Alex Rogan : My stay! What are you talking about? Where are we?
Centauri : Welcome to Rylos, my boy!
Alex Rogan : Rylos! Wait a min-... you mean, you mean... like the game?
Centauri : Oh, he's quick! He's quick! He's very quick! He's speechless! So long, Alex! Have fun! May the luck of the Seven Pillars of Gulu be with you at all times!
[muttering]
Centauri : Oh, someday these cheapskates will thank Centauri, trust me.
-
Beta : Wait a minute, what are you doing back?
Alex Rogan : Are you kidding? It's war up there!
Beta : Oh, save the whales, but not the universe, huh?
-
Beta : Good luck, Alex.
Alex Rogan : You too... Alex.
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Alex Rogan : Maybe there is a Starfighter left.
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Alex Rogan : Hey, you look like me!
Beta : Of course I do. I'm a beta unit.
Alex Rogan : What the hell is a beta unit?
Beta : A beta unit is a simuloid. An exact duplicate, only not as loud!
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Jane Rogan : [gesturing to Alex's ship, shocked] Alex, what is all this?
Alex Rogan : I, uh, I've been to another planet, Ma.
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Centauri : Get a good look, Alex, because you can bet your asteroids you'll be seeing more of them soon.
[indicates the dead Zando-Zan sent to hunt down Alex]
Alex Rogan : What is it?
Centauri : This is a Zando-Zan. An interstellar hit-beast. Courtesy of Xur.
Alex Rogan : Xur? Why's he after me?
Centauri : Somehow he found out you're a Starfighter.
Beta : You see, Alex? Now you've gotta go back; because if you stay here, you're dog meat.
Centauri : Trust Centauri on this, my boy. Within two hours, the population of this neighborhood will increase by ten Zando-Zans... all with just one thought on their microscopic little minds: KILL ALEX ROGAN.
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Beta : [to a startled Louis, while working on his detached head and sitting at a work bench] Louis, you're having a terrible nightmare. Go back to sleep.
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Maggie Gordon : Alex in space? Is this for real?
Beta : Yes! That's what I'm trying to tell you, it's *all* for real!
Maggie Gordon : Well then, don't talk, *drive*!
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[from the hidden Gunstar, Alex and Grig see the Kodan command ship pass overhead]
Alex Rogan : The command ship!
Grig : There... the turret at the far end.
Alex Rogan : I see it.
Grig : Good luck, Starfighter.
Alex Rogan : Thanks, Grig. For everything.
-
Maggie Gordon : [as Alex checks the mail for a loan approval letter] Alex, did it come yet?
Alex Rogan : Uh... no, I don't think so.
Andy : What's it this time, Rogan? You joining the Foreign Legion?
Jack Blake : Yes, sir, folks, step right up! Meet boy adventurer Alex Rogan, on the last leg of his worldwide tour... to nowhere!
[everyone laughs but Alex and Maggie]
Alex Rogan : Funny, Blake. You guys think I'm gonna hang out here, watch you shine your pickup, go to the drive-in, get drunk and throw up every Saturday night, go to City College like everybody else? Forget it, man. I'm doing something with my life.
Jack Blake : [mockingly] Oh ho! Mr. Serioso!
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Grig : Weapons on! We have them now! Fire! FIRE!
[Alex does so, blindly unloading his arsenal against the Kodan mothership]
Alex Rogan : [DELETED LINE] ... Grig! Where's the - exhaust port, or whatever? The weak spot, I mean!
Grig : [DELETED LINE] There is none; Centauri didn't have time to write one into the game. Just pray you hit something vital, before we burn out again! If their firepower comes back online...!
[as luck would have it, Alex takes out the mothership's maneuvering controls]
