Sixteen Candles (1984)
Molly Ringwald: Samantha
Photos
Quotes
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Samantha : I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.
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Samantha : Donger's here for five hours, and he's got somebody. I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease.
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Grandma Helen : Oh Sam, let me look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies.
Grandpa Fred : [chuckles] I better go get my magnifying glass.
Grandma Helen : Oh, and they are so Perky.
Grandma Helen : [reaches to cup them]
Samantha : [cut to Sam's bedroom] I can't believe my Grandmother actually felt me up.
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Samantha : I loathe the bus. There has to be a more dignified mode of transportation.
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Randy : [talking on the phone with Samantha] I was going to tell you something, but, maybe I shouldn't. It's pretty bad.
Samantha : You may as well. Nothing could shock me anymore.
Randy : Last night at the dance, my little brother paid a buck to see your underwear.
Samantha : [screams] Aaaaaaaahhh!
Howard : [Her grandparents downstairs are startled by the scream] Geez! I hate that rock 'n' roll rubbish!
Grandpa Fred : Well, I'm afraid it's here to stay, Howie.
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Brenda Baker : Can you remember to turn off the stove in 20 minutes?
Samantha : I can remember lots of things.
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The Geek : Come on, what's the problem here? I'm a boy. You're a girl. Is there any thing wrong with me trying to put together some kind of relationship between us? Okay, look, I know you haven't been - just answer me one question.
Samantha : Yes, you're a total fag.
The Geek : [laughs] That's not the question. Am I turning you on?
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The Geek : I know I came on kinda like a poozer on the bus tonight and everything. But... that's just so my friends won't think, you know, I'm a jerk.
Samantha : But they're all pretty much jerks, though, aren't they?
The Geek : Yeah, but, the thing is, I'm kinda like the leader, you know? Kinda like the king of the dipshits.
Samantha : Well, that's pretty cool. Hey, but a lot can happen over a year. I mean, you could come back next Fall as a completely normal person.
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Brenda Baker : Oh, Sam. Sam, I am so sorry about your birthday.
Samantha : It's OK. I'll recover.
Brenda Baker : It's important to you. And yesterday morning you were trying to tell me.
[Sniffling]
Samantha : It's OK, Mom. These things sometimes happen.
Brenda Baker : Oh, honey, I just feel miserable.
Samantha : You'll feel better.
Mike Baker : Who died?
Brenda Baker : Uh... Is there something you want to say to your sister?
Mike Baker : What? Are you kidding? Where should I start?
Brenda Baker : I mean about her birthday. It was yesterday. We all forgot.
Mike Baker : [laughing] Classic.
Brenda Baker : Deep down, he's really sorry.
Brenda Baker , Samantha : [Together] No, he's not.
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Samantha : This is the single worst day of my entire life!
Mike Baker : What the hell are you bitchin' about? I have to sleep under some Chinaman named after duck's dork.
Samantha : Well, where am I sleeping?
Mike Baker : Sofa City, Sweetheart.
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Samantha : May I be excused?
Grandma Helen : Where are you going?
Samantha : I have a dance to go to - at school. It's a very important dance... uh we're being graded on it, for Gym.
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Randy : [Samantha has filled out an "anonymous" sex quiz naming her crush, which has fallen into unknown hands] Jake Ryan? He doesn't even know you exist.
Samantha : Thank you, that's a very nice thing to say.
Randy : I'm sorry, but Jake Ryan? He's a senior, and he's taken. I mean, really taken.
Samantha : I know. He's supposed to be my ideal.
Randy : He's ideal for sure, but, forget it.
Samantha : God, I hope whoever got the note doesn't know it was me who wrote it. I'd shit twice and die.
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Samantha : It's really human of you to listen to all my bullshit.
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Samantha : I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek.
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Samantha : I swear to God this has got be a joke.
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Samantha : [mouths from across the street] Me?
Jake : Yeah, you.
[smiles and jogs across the street]
Samantha , Jake : [both in unison] Hi.
Jake : Hi.
Samantha : Hi. What are you doing here?
Jake : I heard you were here.
Samantha : You came here for me?
Jake : Is that OK?
Samantha : [flattered] Yeah, it's OK.
Jake : Do you have to go to the reception now?
Samantha : I'm supposed to.
Jake : Can I call you later?
Samantha : Sure... I mean no.
Jake : No, I can't call you later?
Samantha : Yeah... No, I mean, I'm not going to the reception.
Jake : Oh. Great.
[walks Samantha to his Porsche]
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Samantha : You know everyone in this family has gone total outer limits.
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Samantha : Since I was about 12 I've been looking forward to my Sweet 16, you know, a big party and a band with...
Samantha , Randy : ...tons of people.
Randy : And a big Trans Am in the driveway with a ribbon around it. And some incredible gorgeous guy that you meet like in France. And you do it on a cloud without getting pregnant or herpes.
Samantha : I don't need a cloud.
Randy : Just a pink dress and the guy, right?
Samantha : A black one.
Randy : A black guy?
Samantha : A black Trans Am, a pink guy.
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Grandpa Fred : Oh, I've got one for you. Knock. Knock.
Samantha : Who's there?
Grandpa Fred : Who.
Samantha : Who who?
Grandpa Fred : Helen, we've got an owl out here in the hall!
[Grandpa Fred starts tickling Sam]
Grandma Helen : Oh, Fred, leave her alone. You'll make her tinkle.
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Samantha : I look exactly the same as I have since summer: utterly forgettable.
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Samantha : I didn't expect to wake up transformed. I just thought that turning 16 would be so major that I'd wake up with an improved mental state that would show in my face. All it shows is I don't have any sort of a tan left.
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Samantha : [to herself in the mirror] You need four inches of bod and a great birthday.
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Grandpa Fred : Well, well, if it isn't Sammy Baker Davis, Junior!
Samantha : Hello, Grandpa.
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Samantha : I meant that it's OK that you did it once; but, I didn't mean for you to do it again!
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Samantha : I have to go to this wedding and look like Miss Pretty Princess in this dipshit bridesmaid's dress. I don't even have one-tenth of the bod to fill the stupid bust up. So, should I just waste myself and spare the agony?
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Samantha : [Samantha and Randy are watching Caroline taking a shower in the locker room] It's unbelieveable. I swear to God Caroline Mumford had to flunk about nine grades.
Randy : Brother's deaf, and everybody in the world worships her. Practically impossible to cut up. She's supposedly real sweet.
Samantha : And she's going with Jake. Oh, I'm gonna kill myself.