April Fool's Day (1986)

Deborah Foreman: Muffy, Buffy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Clara : Have a nice party.

  Muffy : Nice? It's gotta be better than nice. It's gotta be bloody unforgettable.

• Nikki : [reading magazine quiz]  My first experience was A. Painful and degrading. B. Not so hot but I really cared about him. C. I was ready to try again. D. Wildly exciting, I had an orgasm.

  Muffy : A and part of B.

  Nikki : A, painful and degrading, not so hot but I really cared about him, awww that's so sweet!

  Kit : I'll take B.

  Nikki : Not so hot but I really cared about him. Was it Rob?

  Kit : Uh, no it wasn't Rob. What about you, Niki?

  Nikki : Um, A and D, painful and degrading, wildly exciting, I had an orgasm.

  [they laugh] 

• Muffy : Well there's an awful lot to be done with the place.

  Arch : You sound as if you own it.

  Muffy : I will, if all goes well next month when I turn 21, it's my first stage of inheritance.

  Harvey : First stage? What's your second?

  Nikki : Taxes, you may be talking to your future boss, Harve.

• Muffy : We used to spend all our summers here before my mother died, this is a very special place to me.

• Nan : [about the table set with dolls at every setting]  Just like Agatha Christie.

  Chaz : And sporks.

  Arch : Sporks?

  Chaz : [mocking voice]  And napkins with bunnies on 'em. Gee, Muff, you really spare no expense.

  Muffy : Well now how do you think Daddy made his money?

  Nikki : The old fashioned way, he inherited it.

  Nan : [about the doll at her place]  I used to have all her outfits.

• Kit : It's okay now, with the others, they were outside, but you...

  Chaz : We're inside now, so we're safe.

  Nan : It's all because of what happened at the ferry, isn't it?

  Chaz : It was an accident! Christ! Don't they know that?

  Arch : Muffy, where do you keep your guns?

  Muffy : Guns? We don't keep guns in this house.

• Nan : Can I make a toast? Well, someone once said to me to cherish the friends you make in college.

  Arch : I try to cherish *all* the friends I make.

  Nikki : Stop it.

  Nan : Because... they'll be the friends you cherish most for the rest of your life. So, here's to us and here's to my life, because I'm very glad to be here. And to be a part of all of you.

  Kit : Muffy, anything you want to add to that?

  Muffy : Why me?

  Nikki : Because you're the hostess.

  Muffy : Okay. In his Life of Johnson, Janus Boswell said 'We cannot predict the precise moment when friendships are formed, as in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last one which makes it run over. So in a series of kindnesses, there is at last one which makes the heart run over.' So, with this toast, may our hearts run over and our friendships be formed.

• Muffy : I'm not worried about those two, Skip and Arch, they're probably just playing some kind of stupid trick.

• Muffy : Here.

  [sets a glass of water down] 

  Nan : [after finding 2 dead bodies in the well]  God! Not the water!

  Muffy : It's alright, it's Perrier!