Wish You Were Here (1987)
Geoffrey Hutchings: Hubert
Quotes
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[Lynda's argument with her father causes a scene in the tea room]
Cafe Manager : [to Lynda] You're fired. You are dismissed. Get out.
Lynda Mansell : No, I won't.
[to crowd]
Lynda Mansell : This one goes around with his brown nose up in the air, down on the carpet, la-di-da this, la-di-da that. The cook spits in the buns and we all piss in the teapots.
[customer looks at her drink]
Cafe Manager : That is enough. Out!
Hubert : [speaking over Lynda] She's a bad lot, and that's the truth. Nothing but trouble, that's the way it's always been.
Lynda Mansell : That's my father speaking.
Hubert : Ever since she could speak, she's uttered nothing but filth. From the day she uttered her first word, her tongue has caused nothing but trouble.
Lynda Mansell : This is my father.
Hubert : Sometimes I doubt it.
Lynda Mansell : An insult to my dead mother.
Cafe Manager : I'm sorry, this cannot go on.
Lynda Mansell : [jumps up on table] I'm up the duff! That's what's up his nose. I'm pregnant in the club!
[some patrons leave]
Cafe Manager : Right, that's it! That's enough.
Lynda Mansell : A willy has entered my person and left a little visitor behind!
[boss goes to get authorities]
Hubert : Get down.
Cafe Manager : This is a matter for the police!
Lynda Mansell : [points to father] This is my father who once gave one to Gracie Fields!
Hubert : Down!
Cafe Manager : I'm calling the police.
Lynda Mansell : [mocking] A member of the British Legion!
Hubert : Get down!
Lynda Mansell : [to crowd] Am I the only one that does it?
Hubert : This is not my daughter.
Lynda Mansell : What do you lot do, eh?
Hubert : Not my daughter.
Lynda Mansell : What do you lot play with in bed at night, eh?
Hubert : I disown her!
Lynda Mansell : Hands up, all those that like willies! I do!
Cafe Manager : The police are coming!
Lynda Mansell : Balls!
Hubert : Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to apologize for this disgraceful display...
Lynda Mansell : So what, I'm up the duff, who cares?
Hubert : I will settle.
Lynda Mansell : [cheers] I like willies!
Cafe Manager : [to Hubert] Now, get her down!
Hubert : All these teas on me. Right?
Lynda Mansell : Sex! All of you. All you old bags look as if you could do with a nice bit of hot willy!
Cafe Manager : Get her down!
Lynda Mansell : [cheers] *Seeeexxxx!*
[a chef grabs Lynda from the table but both take a tumble, knock over Hubert, all three fall to the floor as dishes crash]
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Hubert : I'm not here to be made a bloody fool of, Lynda. There's such a thing as dignity.
[sighs]
Hubert : You seem to think you're smart, but I'm afraid you'll end up the bloody fool. Just don't do it in my house. I don't wanna be witness to that kinda spectacle.
Lynda Mansell : What about Maisie Mathews?
Hubert : *I'm a man.*