Action Jackson (1988)

Roger Aaron Brown: Officer Lack

Photos 

Quotes 

• Officer Kornblau : It was a regular fuck-o-rama at my place last night.

  Officer Lack : Can the shit, Kornblau. There ain't been any pussy at your pad since your mother helped you move in. They oughta call your place the House of Whacks.

• Officer Kornblau : So what's your name?

  Albert : A-Albert. A-Albert Smith.

  Officer Lack : Albert, your mother and father weren't by any chance brother and sister, were they?

  Albert : Hey man, what's gon' happen to me?

  Officer Kornblau : Oh, nothing. Uh, wel-nothing much, uh... you might have to endure a little session with, uh, Action Jackson.

  Albert : Wh-who's Axon...?

  Officer Lack : *Action*, Albert. *Action Jackson*.

  Officer Kornblau : Yeah, some say he didn't even have a mother. That some researchers at NASA created him to be the first man to walk on the moon without a space suit.

  Officer Lack : Mm-hmm.

  Officer Kornblau : Others say his mother was molested by Bigfoot and, uh, Jackson is their mutant offspring.

  Officer Lack : They bring in Jackson when they want to re-educate some young ne'er-do-well such as yourself, Albert.

  Officer Kornblau : Yeah, I remember one kid got re-educated so bad, his testicles climbed back up into his belly. Wouldn't come out.

  Officer Lack : They called it a medical miracle.

  Officer Kornblau : Yeah. Another kid, handcuffed to a chair; gnawed his own hand off like a trapped skunk, or wolverine, or somethin'.

• Officer Lack : Have you ever had your head forcibly rammed up your ass?

  Officer Kornblau : uh, no

  Officer Lack : Well mark your calendar...that day's coming!