Heathers (1988)

Christian Slater: Jason 'J.D.' Dean

Photos 

52 more photos

Quotes 

• Kurt's Dad : My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.

  J.D. : Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse.

• J.D. : Today was great! Chaos is great. Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.

• J.D. : Greetings and salutations... you a Heather?

  Veronica Sawyer : No, I'm a Veronica... Sawyer.

• J.D. : Football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing left to offer the school except date rapes and AIDS jokes.

• Veronica Sawyer : I just killed my best friend.

  J.D. : And your worst enemy.

  Veronica Sawyer : Same difference.

• J.D. : The extreme always seems to make an impression.

• Veronica Sawyer : You know what I want, babe?

  J.D. : What?

  Veronica Sawyer : Cool guys like you out of my life.

• J.D. : I can't believe you did it. I was teasing. I loved you. Course, I was coming up here to kill ya...

• Ram Sweeney : [after watching J.D. flirt with Veronica]  Let's kick his ass!

  Kurt Kelly : Shit, Ram - we're seniors, man. We're too old for that kind of crap. Let's give 'im a good scare, though.

  [They walk to where J.D. is sitting] 

  Ram Sweeney : [Sticking his fingers into J.D.'s lunch]  You gonna eat this?

  Kurt Kelly : What did your boyfriend say when you told 'im you were movin' to Sherwood, Ohio?

  Ram Sweeney : Answer him, dick!

  Kurt Kelly : Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a "No Fags Allowed" rule?

  J.D. : Well they, uh, seem to have an open door policy for assholes though, don't they?

  Kurt Kelly : What did you say, dickhead?

  J.D. : [He sighs, stands, and pulls out a gun]  I'll repeat myself.

  [He shoots Kurt and Ram] 

• Veronica Sawyer : This may seem like a really stupid question...

  J.D. : There *are* no stupid questions.

  Veronica Sawyer : You inherit 5 million dollars the same day aliens land on the earth and say they're going to blow it up in 2 days. What do you do?

  J.D. : That's the stupidest question I've ever heard.

• J.D. : Our love is God, let's go get a Slushie.

• J.D. : I like it. It's got that what-a-cruel-world-let's-toss-ourselves-in-the-abyss type ambience.

• Veronica Sawyer : You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel you're fucking psychotic!

  J.D. : You say 'toh-may-toe', I say 'toe-mah-toh.

• J.D. : People will look at the ashes of Westerburg and say; "now there's a school that self-destructed, not because society didn't care, but because the school was society." Now that's deep.

• J.D. : Seven schools in seven states and the only thing different is my locker combination.

• Veronica Sawyer : That knife is filthy.

  J.D. : What do you think I'm going to do with it, take out her tonsils?

  Veronica Sawyer : Excuse me, I think I know Heather a little bit better than you do. If she were going to slit her wrists, the knife would be spotless.

• J.D. : Is your life perfect?

  Veronica Sawyer : I'm on my way to a party at Remington University... No, my life's not perfect. I don't really like my friends.

  J.D. : I... I don't really like your friends either.

  Veronica Sawyer : Well, it's just like - they're people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit.

  J.D. : Maybe it's time to take a vacation.

• J.D. : I knew that loose was too noose... uh... noose too loose...

• J.D. : The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.

• J.D. : Um... 'to me, though, suicide is the natural answer to the myriad of problems life has given me'.

  Veronica Sawyer : That's good but Heather would never use the word myriad.

  J.D. : This is the last thing she'll ever write; she'll want to use as many 50-cent words as possible.

  Veronica Sawyer : She missed 'myriad' on the vocab test two weeks ago.

  J.D. : That only proves my point more. The word is a badge for her failures at school.

• J.D. : Well, ah... Let's take a look at some of the homosexual artifacts I dug up to plant at the scene.

  [He picks up a shopping bag and pulls items out of it] 

  J.D. : All right. Got an issue of "Stud Puppy."

  Veronica Sawyer : Great!

  [She laughs] 

  J.D. : Candy dish. Joan Crawford postcard. Let's see, some mascara. All right. And here's the one perfecto thing I picked up. Mineral water.

  Veronica Sawyer : Oh, come on, a lot of people drink mineral water, it's come a long way.

  J.D. : Yeah, but this is Ohio. I mean, if you don't have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress.

  Veronica Sawyer : Oh, you're so smart.

• J.D. : Wanna go out tonight? Catch a movie? Miniature golf?

  Veronica Sawyer : I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open, making it look like suicide.

  J.D. : Ah, now you're talking. I can be up for that. I've already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean.

• J.D. : [underlining words in Moby Dick]  Es-ki-mo...

• J.D. : Let's pretend I blew up the school... all the schools. Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?

• Veronica Sawyer : I really don't like my friends.

  J.D. : I don't really like your friends either.

  Veronica Sawyer : They are just people I work with and and our "job" is being popular and shit.

• J.D. : Your society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think to bring upon itself.

• J.D. : [after killing Heather]  What are we gonna tell the cops? "Fuck it if she can't take a joke, Sarge".

  Veronica Sawyer : The cops? This is my life. Oh, my God. I'll have to send my S.A.T. scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford.

• Veronica Sawyer : If you think I'm doing another suicide note you're wrong!

  J.D. : You don't get it do you? Society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think upon itself. Nobody is going to care about exact handwriting.

• [J.D. shows Heather pictures] 

  Heather Duke : Me and Martha Dumptruck? Where did you get this?

  J.D. : I just had the nicest little chat with Ms. Dumptruck. Got along famously. It's kind of scary that everyone's got a little story to tell. You wanna see the canoeing shots?

  Heather Duke : What is this? Blackmail?

  [Miss Duke pauses] 

  J.D. , Heather Duke : I'll give you a week's lunch money.

  J.D. : I don't want your money. I want your strength. Westerburg does not need mushy togetherness. It needs a strong leader. Heather Chandler was that leader but...

  Heather Duke : But she couldn't handle it.

  J.D. : I think you can. Moby Dick is dunked. The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table and now it's your turn to take the helm.

  Heather Duke : What about the photographs?

  J.D. : Oh, don't worry. I'll ask you to do me a favor. That will be one you'll enjoy. Then you'll get the negatives and everything back then. But in the meantime... strength. Here's a little gift. From Heather to Heather.

  [he gives her Heather Chandler's red hair bow] 

• J.D. : Mmm. I thank you. That was my first game of strip croquet.

  Veronica Sawyer : You're welcome. It's a lot more interesting than just flinging off your clothes and boning away on the neighbor's swing set.

• J.D. : I'm a no-rust-build-up man, myself.

• J.D. : I don't get it! You were wrong! I was right! Strength, damn it! Come back!

• J.D. : Oh, look. Eskimo. Look at that. Eskimo. That's one word. I love it! I usually go for the whole sentences myself, but this is perfecto! Eskimo. You know, it's so, eh, mysterious. Es-ki-mo.

• J.D. : This is Ohio. I mean, if you don't have a brewski in your hand, you might as well be wearing a dress.

• J.D. : Look, you believed it because you chose to believe it.

• J.D. : Face it, our way is the way. We scare people into not being assholes.

• J.D. : You got power. Power I didn't think you had. The slate is clean.

• Veronica Sawyer : Hello, Jason Dean.

  J.D. : Greetings and salutations. Are you a Heather?

  Veronica Sawyer : No, I'm a Veronica... Sawyer.