Heathers (1988)

Patrick Labyorteaux: Ram Sweeney

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ram Sweeney : [after watching J.D. flirt with Veronica]  Let's kick his ass!

  Kurt Kelly : Shit, Ram - we're seniors, man. We're too old for that kind of crap. Let's give 'im a good scare, though.

  [They walk to where J.D. is sitting] 

  Ram Sweeney : [Sticking his fingers into J.D.'s lunch]  You gonna eat this?

  Kurt Kelly : What did your boyfriend say when you told 'im you were movin' to Sherwood, Ohio?

  Ram Sweeney : Answer him, dick!

  Kurt Kelly : Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a "No Fags Allowed" rule?

  J.D. : Well they, uh, seem to have an open door policy for assholes though, don't they?

  Kurt Kelly : What did you say, dickhead?

  J.D. : [He sighs, stands, and pulls out a gun]  I'll repeat myself.

  [He shoots Kurt and Ram] 

• Ram Sweeney : [praying in Heather's funeral]  Jesus God in Heaven, why'd you have to kill such hot snatch?

  [smiles] 

  Ram Sweeney : It's a joke man. Geez, people are so serious.

  [serious face] 

  Ram Sweeney : Holy Mary who art in Heaven pray for us sinners... so we don't get caught

  [grins and looks up worriedly] 

  Ram Sweeney : Another joke.

• Ram Sweeney : [Veronica has invited Ram and Kurt to have a threesome with her in the woods - there is an awkward pause]  So, should I just whip it out, or...?

• Kurt Kelly : It'd be so righteous to be in a Veronica Sawyer/Heather Chandler sandwich.

  Ram Sweeney : Oh, hell yes. I wanna set a Heather on my Johnson and just start spinnin' her around like a goddamn pinwheel. Punch it in.

• Ram Sweeney : Let's kick his ass.

  Kurt Kelly : Shit man, we're seniors now man. We're too old for that kind of shit.

  [pause] 

  Kurt Kelly : Let's give him a good scare though.

• Ram Sweeney : I'd pay Madonna one million dollars to sit on my face and have her ride like the Kentucky Derby.