This movie almost plays as a sequel as whoever wrote it seems to think you should know what is going on so he isn't going to take the time to explain it. The "plot" and I am using the term loosely is I am guessing a bunch of rich people in corporations make bets based on two guys fighting to the death. Sounds simple enough, but wait...somehow one of the warriors is able to come back from the dead. How? Who knows...it has something to do with this gal who I think was some kind of sorceress. This is never really touched upon much, but hey she is cute and I think that is why she is stuck in this one. Nothing much to be said for the fighting as it involves Robert Z'Dar and some other guy. When I first saw this movie I only caught the end and wondered why the heck Z'Dar was dressed as a knight and he was going around killing people (his character goes berserk or something and starts killing more than just the guy he is fighting). I thought this was some movie about time travel, which would have been better than what it was really about. You occasionally flash to these board members watching the fight and other stuff...it does have a rather catchy tune to it and it is rather short so it wasn't all bad. As I have said though it plays like a sequel to something.
10 Reviews
A desert slog.
tarbosh2200026 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
In the deserts of Arizona, two men face off in a battle to the death: the maniacal Lochaber (Z'Dar) and the honorable Falchion (Coufos). Because this is the future, the two men are being controlled by their corporate masters. One big corporation, led by the smarmy, ponytail-wearing businessman Michael Moorpark (Paré) and his associates Asawa (Hong) and the creatively-named Kyoto (Aleong), have millions of dollars riding on the success of their chosen fighter. The other businessmen, led by Baybington (Cortese) are their rivals, backing their own guy. They sit in their cushy offices watching the proceedings play out on TV monitors. Falchion decides he's had enough and defects. He goes on the run, refusing to fight. It's on his travels away from Lochaber that he meets a desert Ranger, Moochow (Napier) (who presumably, based on his name, will get a Chicago-based talk radio show) and a drunken stranger, Jericho (Flower), who decides to narrate the whole story. There's also the magical hot chick, Dark Servant (MacLaren), who has the power to heal. But the time comes when all men must fight, and Falchion realizes he must face off against the murderous Lochaber (who has gone rogue and started killing innocent civilians). Who will be victorious in this so-called "Dragonfight"? Oh dear. Dragonfight is one choppy, nonsensical mess of a movie. It's more an off-kilter mishmash of stupidity and half-baked concepts than a fully-fleshed out film. We were happy to see a top-billed Robert Z'Dar, and a second-billed Paul Coufos, especially on a tape released by a major label (Warner Brothers, though we don't understand why; this definitely seems like something that would come out on a much smaller label - but then again, we're happy some of our fan-favorite actors got wider distribution than normal, even if it's not an ideal vehicle for them). Paul Coufos, star of Busted Up (1986), strongly resembles Huey Lewis - we suppose this is as close as we'll get to seeing Lewis in an "action" film, though Falchion needed more goons to fight, not just one, and he spends most of the movie running from the fight. That's bad policy for a supposed action movie with the word "fight" somewhere in the title.
Michael Pare has a very limited amount of screen time, and of that, his ponytail steals his performance away from him. The movie as a whole has some classic line readings, some of which are said by James Hong, but just about every character says a stupid and/or confusingly-written piece of dialogue in an appropriately-confused manner. That's why the first 30 minutes or so of Dragonfight is so wacky and funny. But the desert sequences are mostly slogs and have an unfortunate Albert Pyun feel, and things slow down tremendously then. Some nice cinematography can't fix the egregious problems this movie has.
Z'Dar runs around the desert yelling "RAAAAAHHH!!!!" and wearing a too-small suit of chainmail, complete with codpiece. Charles Napier has a cap with the word "Ranger" on it in tiny type, so small you can barely read it. Were smaller-than-average chainmail suits and "Ranger" embroidered patches cheaper than normal-sized ones? Then George "Buck" Flower (or is it Randall "Tex" Cobb? Not really sure...) shows up, and most of his dialogue (and inexplicable narration) is so grumbly, mumbly, and slurred, he makes William Smith seem like a master of elocution. And lest we forget Tom Magee as Bull, the token meathead. Naturally a movie about mystical sorcery wouldn't be complete without the Canadian 1982 World Powerlifiting Champion. Also he was in Stone Cold (1991) and Street Knight (1993).
Director Warren Stevens also is responsible for Lone Tiger (1999) - how does he keep assembling impressive B-movie casts for these nonsensical movies? Sure, the writing, editing, and directing are very off, but our question is: did Stevens thought it made sense? Did it make sense to him? Did he think it would make sense to audiences? Or does he know it makes no sense, and he doesn't care? These are the questions we're curious about. But naturally, there is a lot of repetition to pad out the running time. We also noted that the movie Digital Man (1995) is very similar to this. Of all the movies to imitate, why Dragonfight? Is it really that inspirational? Add in a little Cyber Vengeance (1997) and you have...well, something.
The first half-hour is fairly mind-boggling, but then the silliness subsides for most of the rest of the film. We felt the corporate-based scenes were more interesting than the desert slog scenes, of course. So that led to an overall feeling of dissatisfaction. Featuring the song "Take My Stand" by Velvet Hammer, Dragonfight is, despite author John Stanley giving it a glowingly positive review in his book Creature Features, a confusing disappointment after its opening promise. But there are some unintentional laughs along the way.
For more action insanity, drop by: www.comeuppancereviews.com
Michael Pare has a very limited amount of screen time, and of that, his ponytail steals his performance away from him. The movie as a whole has some classic line readings, some of which are said by James Hong, but just about every character says a stupid and/or confusingly-written piece of dialogue in an appropriately-confused manner. That's why the first 30 minutes or so of Dragonfight is so wacky and funny. But the desert sequences are mostly slogs and have an unfortunate Albert Pyun feel, and things slow down tremendously then. Some nice cinematography can't fix the egregious problems this movie has.
Z'Dar runs around the desert yelling "RAAAAAHHH!!!!" and wearing a too-small suit of chainmail, complete with codpiece. Charles Napier has a cap with the word "Ranger" on it in tiny type, so small you can barely read it. Were smaller-than-average chainmail suits and "Ranger" embroidered patches cheaper than normal-sized ones? Then George "Buck" Flower (or is it Randall "Tex" Cobb? Not really sure...) shows up, and most of his dialogue (and inexplicable narration) is so grumbly, mumbly, and slurred, he makes William Smith seem like a master of elocution. And lest we forget Tom Magee as Bull, the token meathead. Naturally a movie about mystical sorcery wouldn't be complete without the Canadian 1982 World Powerlifiting Champion. Also he was in Stone Cold (1991) and Street Knight (1993).
Director Warren Stevens also is responsible for Lone Tiger (1999) - how does he keep assembling impressive B-movie casts for these nonsensical movies? Sure, the writing, editing, and directing are very off, but our question is: did Stevens thought it made sense? Did it make sense to him? Did he think it would make sense to audiences? Or does he know it makes no sense, and he doesn't care? These are the questions we're curious about. But naturally, there is a lot of repetition to pad out the running time. We also noted that the movie Digital Man (1995) is very similar to this. Of all the movies to imitate, why Dragonfight? Is it really that inspirational? Add in a little Cyber Vengeance (1997) and you have...well, something.
The first half-hour is fairly mind-boggling, but then the silliness subsides for most of the rest of the film. We felt the corporate-based scenes were more interesting than the desert slog scenes, of course. So that led to an overall feeling of dissatisfaction. Featuring the song "Take My Stand" by Velvet Hammer, Dragonfight is, despite author John Stanley giving it a glowingly positive review in his book Creature Features, a confusing disappointment after its opening promise. But there are some unintentional laughs along the way.
For more action insanity, drop by: www.comeuppancereviews.com
To be serious, this really is one of the the worst films ever made. See it.
J Perry10 February 1999
After seeing films like "Glen or Glenda" or "Terror in the midnight sun", you may think you´ve seen the worst film ever made, but "Dragonfight" really wins that "price". The first films I mentioned, like many of the "bad film classics", have got some charm in just being bad, but "Dragonfight" hasn´t. It´s got worthless actors, a crappy story and an even crappier screenplay. And then I haven´t even mentioned the "special effects" and the "stunts". Commonly, when you watch a film known to be bad, you don´t mind about those things mentioned above, because they are what you expect them to be and you can laugh at them, but in "Dragonfight" it seems like the crew thought that they were doing a great film and that´s what making this film so extremely bad. So if you get your hands on this film, view it so that you can tell your friends that you have seen THE bad one. After that, burn it.
Robert Z'Dar's chin is the real star.
TheMovieMark15 June 2004
Robert Z'Dar's chin deserves its own credit in the movie. This guy has a chin that would eat Jay Leno's chin for a lightweight snack and not even blink. How freaky would it be to see a chin that blinked? I wish I had a screenshot from the movie of Z'Dar wearing his chain mail because he looks JUST LIKE Buzz Lightyear.
Anyway, laughing at his chin is the only sort of entertainment you're going to get from watching "Dragonfight." Since Michael Paré is in the movie, my friends and I thought this would be a good one to rent and make fun of. Nope. This is a movie that's so bad it's *not* funny, and Paré wouldn't appear in it for more than 5 minutes.
Unless you like a 5-minute premise stretched out to 83 minutes by showing repetitive shots of people running in the desert and climbing hills, then I suggest you avoid this one by any means necessary.
Anyway, laughing at his chin is the only sort of entertainment you're going to get from watching "Dragonfight." Since Michael Paré is in the movie, my friends and I thought this would be a good one to rent and make fun of. Nope. This is a movie that's so bad it's *not* funny, and Paré wouldn't appear in it for more than 5 minutes.
Unless you like a 5-minute premise stretched out to 83 minutes by showing repetitive shots of people running in the desert and climbing hills, then I suggest you avoid this one by any means necessary.
Poorly written, weakly made; uselessly thin and flummoxing
I_Ailurophile22 February 2024
Composer Bob Mithoff's opening theme really bops, and hearing George Buck Flower provide the opening (and any subsequent) narration is an unexpected joy. The fact that James Hong's is one of the first faces we see, three minutes into the runtime, is also softly encouraging, even if we have no expectation otherwise that the movie we're committing to will be any good.
And, well, then 'Dragonfight' starts in earnest. Beautiful landscapes, on the one hand, and on the other hand, additional filming locations to which access was clearly granted on a Saturday with help from a connected friend. Quizzical costume design. Writing that is at once direct, brusque, blunt, unsubtle, inchoate, and meager, providing only the most useless, empty foundation for any scenes of fighting and action. Soft, seemingly inexperienced direction has a deleterious effect on the acting in turn, though the cast do try, and some meet with fair (relative) success. Poor pacing and sequencing even in the fundamental course of events. Camerawork that ranges from surprisingly adept to amateurish; inelegant or overzealous editing at the most inopportune moments. Some of the rest of Mithoff's music is quite alright, and some of it is just bland; most all of it is repetitive.
This picture is weakly written, and weakly made, to the point that sometimes even the apparent movements of characters from A to B, as we see them, are all but senseless. Storytelling is all but right out. The premise is clear: a future in which people are induced to kill each other for the gain of powerful people. With scant exceptions, nearly everything beyond that basic premise - and I do mean, nearly everything - is up in the air, questionable, unclear, ill-conceived, murky, flimsy, vague, meek, and unconvincing. Who are any of these characters in the first place? Save for those first three minutes, which (a) include the opening credits and (b) are up for debate, the most that the feature probably has going for it is a small but hilarious exchange of dialogue a little after the half-hour mark. To the rest I can only say, "what?"
To come across this title in any way, even sights unseen no one could have any illusions about what they're getting into. 'Dragonfight' is low-budget, low-grade slop, and it's incredible that it somehow got made, and that some recognizable folks somehow became involved. I suppose it's possible for someone to genuinely enjoy it, but the whole construction is so desperately thin from top to bottom that I don't know what there is to get from it. I don't know what anyone here thought they were doing, but the end result is just perplexing. Even if you're a huge fan of someone involved, whatever it is you think you're going to get out of this flick, in good conscience I must recommend against it. These are eighty minutes with no meaningful redeeming qualities, and if you accidentally stumble onto it, I suggest you keep looking.
And, well, then 'Dragonfight' starts in earnest. Beautiful landscapes, on the one hand, and on the other hand, additional filming locations to which access was clearly granted on a Saturday with help from a connected friend. Quizzical costume design. Writing that is at once direct, brusque, blunt, unsubtle, inchoate, and meager, providing only the most useless, empty foundation for any scenes of fighting and action. Soft, seemingly inexperienced direction has a deleterious effect on the acting in turn, though the cast do try, and some meet with fair (relative) success. Poor pacing and sequencing even in the fundamental course of events. Camerawork that ranges from surprisingly adept to amateurish; inelegant or overzealous editing at the most inopportune moments. Some of the rest of Mithoff's music is quite alright, and some of it is just bland; most all of it is repetitive.
This picture is weakly written, and weakly made, to the point that sometimes even the apparent movements of characters from A to B, as we see them, are all but senseless. Storytelling is all but right out. The premise is clear: a future in which people are induced to kill each other for the gain of powerful people. With scant exceptions, nearly everything beyond that basic premise - and I do mean, nearly everything - is up in the air, questionable, unclear, ill-conceived, murky, flimsy, vague, meek, and unconvincing. Who are any of these characters in the first place? Save for those first three minutes, which (a) include the opening credits and (b) are up for debate, the most that the feature probably has going for it is a small but hilarious exchange of dialogue a little after the half-hour mark. To the rest I can only say, "what?"
To come across this title in any way, even sights unseen no one could have any illusions about what they're getting into. 'Dragonfight' is low-budget, low-grade slop, and it's incredible that it somehow got made, and that some recognizable folks somehow became involved. I suppose it's possible for someone to genuinely enjoy it, but the whole construction is so desperately thin from top to bottom that I don't know what there is to get from it. I don't know what anyone here thought they were doing, but the end result is just perplexing. Even if you're a huge fan of someone involved, whatever it is you think you're going to get out of this flick, in good conscience I must recommend against it. These are eighty minutes with no meaningful redeeming qualities, and if you accidentally stumble onto it, I suggest you keep looking.
Probably the worst film ever made...
dragan-217 March 1999
This must be the worst movie ever made in the film history... It has no connected story. You don´t understand what the film is about... You´re totally confused.. I think there´s some guys wandering around in the desert looking för each other (like, they want to kill each other)... At the same time there´s some dressed up, fancy-looking guys sitting in a building in a city. They all watch when those other guys try to kill each other. One thing that I don´t understand is that: How is it possible to place all that flying, non-flying cameras in the desert where those two gladiators are located??? Please tell me!!
So, if you want a good laugh and some time of thinking why they ever made this film....Then see it!!!
Michael Paré does a very nice work as an actor!!! YEEHHOO!!
So, if you want a good laugh and some time of thinking why they ever made this film....Then see it!!!
Michael Paré does a very nice work as an actor!!! YEEHHOO!!
THE worst movie of all time
olaskar2 August 2007
Me and my friends rented this baby just to have something to watch while we drank beer and lied to each other about female conquests of the past... The party ended pretty early since we started to watch the movie. Obviously we had missed the "first part" or.. because we didn't understand anything! My most vivid memory was a line from the film: Two guys are standing in the middle of nowhere. One of them says something like "There ísn't a living soul out here for a hundred miles except us"... and in the background a motorcyclist are clearly visible the whole time. In a normal movie, that would have mean that someone was out to get the guys or.. well, anything! In this movie it truly didn't mean anything. It just ..was...
Easily one of the most entertaining B-movies. Ever.
thewhistles13 September 2009
Warning: Spoilers
If you were to rate this movie on how good it is, it's about a 2. But as far as how much fun you'll have watching it, I would give it a 10. This is one of the cheesiest 90's movies ever made. The dialogue is beyond horrible, the plot doesn't make any sense, there's some sort of loophole or mess-up in every scene, and the characters are priceless/terrible. If you are a fan of bad movies, this is a MUST SEE. And as a side note, I would pay good money for this movie's soundtrack. Trust me when I say that you WANT to see an idiot in chain mail named AxeWolf jive-walking around the Arizona desert. And some choice quotes to get you interested: "This is the 90's. We're businessmen." "See that strange lady? That's my ace in the whole. That's my magic lady."
What Dragon?
saint_brett22 April 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Wow, this is predominately an all-male cast.
Now stop right there!
The movie kicks off with a narration, and I didn't get one word that was said, but I know that voice.
It's Uncle Jess from "Dukes of Hazzard." Let me rewind that and try to translate what was said.
"It was the end of the century, and the horse race was tired. That's why I probably let it happen." Let what happen? What horses? What dragons?
"If only these governments learned to get along with each other, but corporations got involved and spooled knitwear through double-edged goblins to combat ancient Japanese ninja battles called Dragonfight." Did you get all that?
It's basically what Mauser said in "Police Academy" with that "It's a facka facka homa" line.
Oh, not that James Hong guy with the "Get Smart" voice again!
Looking at a Chinese menu, the dragon meat with XO sauce is ordered, then Huey Lewis is harassed by Janick Gers from Iron Maiden, and there's going to be a donnybrook taken outside. I got a thousand on Huey Lewis. (You just know he'll win.) He's winning on points so far, even though the Michael Bolton lookalike is twice as big. Gers fights back, but a sucker punch delivered from the dumpster sees Huey Lewis bring it home. Told ya. Dirty tactics see the White Snake singer stabbed in the back by his own boy, and Huey Lewis wins by a Mortal Kombat fatality.
Dressed like Sonny Crockett, Maniac Cop fine dines with a borrowed lady for hire and is attacked for no reason when leaving the restaurant, but he administers a lesson to the four fools.
At least this movie is coherent, unlike that "Guns of El Chupacabra" garbage I tried to watch the other night.
One minute Maniac Cop was "Miami Vice," now he's suddenly Sir Lancelot while Huey Lewis winds up in the wild west battling his poor taste in costume. He's like that dude from "Running Man." "This stuff is garbage." Huey Lewis and Maniac Cop duel near the castle in "Evil Dead 2," while a dirt bike kamikaze dies a dishonorable death, while "Ladyhawke" cheats using witchcraft and Jedi force techniques, and the movie sinks into Scott Shaw territory.
A helicopter is dispersed to mow down "The A-Team." Did this movie come with a manual guide to explain what it's about?
It started off okay but just descended into this boring cross-country nonsense about an arid quarry and people going around in circles.
I'm fast forwarding this.
According to my review, all I've got left written down is milk, meat, and cat food for Bungus.
Could somebody please throw me a lifebuoy as I'm drowning in a sea of horrible movies with no way out?
Now stop right there!
The movie kicks off with a narration, and I didn't get one word that was said, but I know that voice.
It's Uncle Jess from "Dukes of Hazzard." Let me rewind that and try to translate what was said.
"It was the end of the century, and the horse race was tired. That's why I probably let it happen." Let what happen? What horses? What dragons?
"If only these governments learned to get along with each other, but corporations got involved and spooled knitwear through double-edged goblins to combat ancient Japanese ninja battles called Dragonfight." Did you get all that?
It's basically what Mauser said in "Police Academy" with that "It's a facka facka homa" line.
Oh, not that James Hong guy with the "Get Smart" voice again!
Looking at a Chinese menu, the dragon meat with XO sauce is ordered, then Huey Lewis is harassed by Janick Gers from Iron Maiden, and there's going to be a donnybrook taken outside. I got a thousand on Huey Lewis. (You just know he'll win.) He's winning on points so far, even though the Michael Bolton lookalike is twice as big. Gers fights back, but a sucker punch delivered from the dumpster sees Huey Lewis bring it home. Told ya. Dirty tactics see the White Snake singer stabbed in the back by his own boy, and Huey Lewis wins by a Mortal Kombat fatality.
Dressed like Sonny Crockett, Maniac Cop fine dines with a borrowed lady for hire and is attacked for no reason when leaving the restaurant, but he administers a lesson to the four fools.
At least this movie is coherent, unlike that "Guns of El Chupacabra" garbage I tried to watch the other night.
One minute Maniac Cop was "Miami Vice," now he's suddenly Sir Lancelot while Huey Lewis winds up in the wild west battling his poor taste in costume. He's like that dude from "Running Man." "This stuff is garbage." Huey Lewis and Maniac Cop duel near the castle in "Evil Dead 2," while a dirt bike kamikaze dies a dishonorable death, while "Ladyhawke" cheats using witchcraft and Jedi force techniques, and the movie sinks into Scott Shaw territory.
A helicopter is dispersed to mow down "The A-Team." Did this movie come with a manual guide to explain what it's about?
It started off okay but just descended into this boring cross-country nonsense about an arid quarry and people going around in circles.
I'm fast forwarding this.
According to my review, all I've got left written down is milk, meat, and cat food for Bungus.
Could somebody please throw me a lifebuoy as I'm drowning in a sea of horrible movies with no way out?
Probably the best film ever made..
wheres_me_pint23 April 2022
This film is probably the most incoherent nonsense I have ever watched but in such a majestical way..Is it 40 films weaved in to one..Is there a sequel on the way that can explain anything that transpired in the film? I advise..just watch it and get lost in the true art of the non-sensical.
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