Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Poster

(1993)

Samuel L. Jackson: Wes Luger

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Samuel L. Jackson, Emilio Estevez, and Erik Estrada in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Samuel L. Jackson in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Samuel L. Jackson and Emilio Estevez in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Samuel L. Jackson and Emilio Estevez in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Samuel L. Jackson and Emilio Estevez in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Samuel L. Jackson, Emilio Estevez, Lauren Abels, and Frank McRae in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Samuel L. Jackson, Charlie Sheen, and Emilio Estevez in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Samuel L. Jackson, Emilio Estevez, Kathy Ireland, and Jon Lovitz in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Samuel L. Jackson, Emilio Estevez, Lauren Abels, and Frank McRae in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Samuel L. Jackson, Charlie Sheen, and Emilio Estevez in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Samuel L. Jackson and Lance Kinsey in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Samuel L. Jackson and Charlie Sheen in Loaded Weapon 1 (1993)

Quotes 

  • Desk Clerk : That her?

    Wes Luger : No, that's a picture.

  • [Colt and Luger's car blows up] 

    Colt : Good thing we used valet parking.

    Wes Luger : Taxi!

    [the taxi blows up] 

    Colt : I guess we're making somebody nervous. I'll tell you this: It's gonna take a lot more than a couple of car bombs to get us off of this case.

    Wes Luger : Not a helluva lot more.

  • Wes Luger : Coffee, Ted?

    Doris Luger : Ted's from a dysfunctional family.

    Wes Luger : Oh, so, no coffee.

  • Valet : You got anything smaller?

    Wes Luger : Keep it.

    Valet : Anything larger?

  • Wes Luger : What's going on in here?

    Mr. Jigsaw : Drop your gun Mr. Luger!

    Wes Luger : I don't have one...

    Mr. Jigsaw : [confused]  You are not carrying a weapon?

    Wes Luger : Don't believe in them.

    Mr. Jigsaw : [slides a gun over]  Pick up the gun.

    Wes Luger : [picks up the gun] 

    Mr. Jigsaw : *Drop* the gun Mr. Luger!

  • Wes Luger : You have reached the desk of sergeant Wes Luger, please leave a message after the beep.

    Sgt. Billy York : Yeah, Wes, it's...

    Wes Luger : Hey, I said after the beep!

    Sgt. Billy York : Well, excuse me!

  • Wes Luger : York was a friend of mine. She was onto something. I think that's what got her killed.

    Captain Doyle : You don't think it was the bullets?

  • Wes Luger : There's something between you and this General Mortars.

    Jack Colt : He was my CO in 'Nam. CIA listed him as MIA, but the VA ID'd his MO and we put out an APB.

    Wes Luger : Oh, I see.

  • Wes Luger : So what're we looking at here, Doc?

    Coroner : The worst-dressed stiff I've ever seen.

    Wes Luger : This "stiff" and I pounded a beat together for five years. So show some respect, Doc.

    Coroner : I'm sorry, Wes. You know, I see so much of this senseless mayhem that sometimes I get a little insensitive.

    Wes Luger : [nods with understanding] 

    Coroner : All right. This loser has taken the chicken-shit way out and punched her own ticket.

    Wes Luger : Suicide, huh?

    [He turns over York's body; there is an expression of surprise frozen on her face] 

    Wes Luger : She must have caught herself by surprise.

  • Wes Luger : Bust at a cookie factory? I don't know. Can you trust her

    [Destiny] 

    Wes Luger : ?

    Jack Colt : Yeah.

    Wes Luger : How do you know? You kissed her?

    Jack Colt : Well, sort of.

    Wes Luger : French?

    [Colt shakes head] 

    Wes Luger : Give her a hickey?

    [Colt shakes head] 

    Wes Luger : Shaved her back?

    [Colt shakes head] 

    Wes Luger : Handled her hooters?

    [Colt shakes head] 

    Wes Luger : You parked the pink Cadillac?

    [Colt shakes head] 

    Wes Luger : Well what could you possibly know about her?

    Jack Colt : I know we both wear the same size pumps.

    Wes Luger : Are you one of those macho guys who just hates women, Colt?

    Jack Colt : If I tell you something, do you promise it'll just stay between us?

    Wes Luger : Your secret's safe with me, Colt. Whatever you tell me doesn't leave this car. You have my word.

    [both are unaware the cop radio is active] 

    Jack Colt : All right.

    [cut to police headquarters, where Colt is heard over the police radio] 

    Jack Colt : My mother never breastfed me. She'd... tease me with it, then give me the bottle. It went on for years.

    [cut to an airport, where Colt is heard over the loudspeaker] 

    Jack Colt : By the time I hit thirteen, I developed a love-hate thing with breasts, and a distrust of all women.

    Wes Luger : [cut to Earth orbit, where Luger is heard by a space crew]  Hell, I breastfed 'til I was sixteen, and I still don't understand women.

    [space crew laughs] 

  • Jack Colt : Claire and I rode together for seven years.

    Wes Luger : York and I were in academy together. Then we partnered for five years. Before that, we dodged the draft together. Before that, we played high school football together. Before that, we were in grade school together. And before that, we breastfed together.

  • Captain Doyle : Don't be so fast to thank me on this, Luger, because you're going to be naked on this one. It's on the line for you. People are going to be watching. Now you blow it, you're going down. You screw up, you're going to be hung out to dry. You drop the ball, you're going to be left twisting in the wind. If you embarrass this department, your pants will be dancing with figs. Is that clear?

    Wes Luger : Everything but the pants fig thing.

  • Wes Luger : I don't think York was a suicide. She was on to something.

    Captain Doyle : On something is more likely. You know as well as I that this guy's cookies were laced with cocaine.

    Wes Luger : No wonder I couldn't eat just one.

  • Wes Luger : We're investigating a felony, Miss Demeanor.

  • Becker : What? I don't know nothin'. I didn't see nothin'. I ain't say nothin'.

    Wes Luger : Nothing, the word is nothing, not nothin'. There's an i-n-g on the end of it. Nothing.

    Becker : Ok, nothing. Nothiiing. Nothiiiiiiiiiiing. Ok, you happy?

    Wes Luger : That's better.

  • Jack Colt : Luger?

    Wes Luger : [from a distance]  In here!

    Jack Colt : [opens bathroom door, sees Luger sitting on toilet, reading a magazine]  What's wrong?

    Wes Luger : Nothing. Taking a shit.

    Jack Colt : Oh.

  • Wes Luger : I'm getting too old for this bike-confiscating shit!

  • Wes Luger : [Wes Luger had previously ordered his men to hold fire. An assailant opens fire on the police squad with an Uzi and fills the police cars with bullets. An officer fires a single shot back]  Who fired that shot?

    [the office raises his hand] 

    Wes Luger : [Asks for the pistol]  Give it here. When you learn to follow orders, you can have it back.

  • Wes Luger : [They're investigating a crime scene]  What you have, Irv?

    Lt. Irv Lansing : Oh, I'm not sure, Sarg. It's a nagging, itching, burning sensation.

    Wes Luger : [Irv takes off his shoe and his sock bursts into flames]  What the hell do you expect? Your foot's on fire!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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