User Reviews

For our 400th review celebration, we thought we'd invite a few friends over - namely, Matthias Hues, Richard Lynch, Jorge Rivero, Ian Jacklin, Renee Ammann, Martin Kove, Benny The Jet, Eric Lee and the rest of the large cast of Death Match. A special effort seems to have been made to get as many of the DTV actors of the time as possible in this production. Casting-wise, it truly was The Expendables (2010) of its day, and, inevitably it means that some cast members can only receive small roles. Due to time restrictions of course. Unless you think Death Match should be a four-hour-plus epic.

John Larson (Jacklin) and Nick Wallace (Hill) are just two blue-collar dock workers trying to make their living the old-fashioned way - by working hard. Their longshoreman jobs take them all around the country, and they end up in L.A. where Nick tries to make some extra bucks fighting in...wait for it...illegal, underground punch/kickfighting cage matches to the death! Did you think it would be some sort of computer game contest? Anyway, Nick starts fighting for the evil, unscrupulous fight promoter/gangster/gunrunner/lover of geodes and Twizzlers Paul Landis (Kove) and his associate/main fighter Mark Vanik (Hues). Unbeknownst to Nick, these guys are, well, evil and unscrupulous, and they expect the winners of their fights to kill, and the losers of their fights to die. Seeing as Nick is a nice guy and doesn't have that killer instinct, he refuses to kill his opponent in the ring. So naturally, after a brutal punch to the face by Vanik, they imprison him on their personal boat.

Seeing as how Larson and Wallace are best friends to the end, when Larson gets word that his buddy hooked up with Landis' organization and is now missing, he goes on the hunt for him. Of course this means that he has to join Landis' group and fight in order to get closer to the truth. Luckily, he was a former kickboxing champion that gave it up years ago. With help from reporter/love interest/eye candy Danielle Richardson (Ammann), scrappy street kid Tommy (Michele Krasnoo), and of course his Cosmo Kramer-like manager Lionel P. Bigman AKA "Big Man" (Bob Wyatt), will Larson find and rescue his friend? Death Match is one of the better punchfighters out there, and has a little more substance than most. Thanks to the sprawling cast - there are even more B-movie names we didn't mention - Lisa London, John Sjogren, Brick Bronsky, Marcus Aurelius, Sheila Redgate and more - as well as the fast pace of the film, things never get boring. Also in the good news department, this is by far Ian Jacklin's best role we've seen. He actually does a good job carrying the movie, and as the lead role must have the usual barfights and torture scenes, and you care about him and his friend. Despite all we've seen before, we really liked Jacklin here.

But the real "Big Man" in this production isn't Lionel, it's the great Matthias Hues. He turns on his typical charm and wears a gigantic suit with a bolo tie. If he starts to take off his shirt/bolo tie - watch out. You are in trouble. Also, whatever you do, don't call him "goldilocks". Lynch steals the one scene he's in as the gangster Jimmy. Benny The Jet appears as himself, in one of his own gyms, as Larson's trainer. His advice comes in handy. Interestingly, in the female reporter wanting a story/hero teaming up with an L.A. street kid angle, Death Match resembles Streets of Rage (1994) of all things. Weird.

We really can't go through all the many characters and their ups and downs due to space restrictions, and there are some of the prerequisite silly moments, such as the "Chicanos with nunchuks" scene, but honestly this is an action B-movie fan's dream come true - and one of the better killfighting movies we've seen to date.

Note: Death Match is available in the U.K. on a two-for-one DVD with, strangely, The Robert Chapin classic Ring Of Steel (1994)! Go Figure.

Welcome to a world chocka with hormone-infused beefcakes who somehow think they can act outside badly -choreographed fights, the big tough baddie is some ladybiy with long blonde hair aptly nicknamed 'Goldilocks' and every single move whilst fighting must be replayed ad nauseum for MAXIMUM. POSSIBLE. IMPACT. Sigh.

Yep, we've hit the 90's folks... where men where men, women existed primarily to look pretty and engage in dimly lit sex scenes and little kid sidekicks mouthed off repeatedly and could hold their own whilst battling hordes of bigger, stronger dudes. In case you were wondering, yes all this does apply to Death Match. Why else would I bring it up?! Duh.

As unoriginal as this flick is, even amongst the sea of similar genre films that saturated the video market this decade, it's not completely without merit. The stilted action plods along at a fair old lick, the lead guy has at least an iota of charisma and if you like pure cheese... well, you couldn't get a better selection than at your local delicatessen.

I do have one nit to pick, though... why, after disposing of the head honcho by knocking him off a great height onto a protruding spike, does our hero not observe the impaled evildoer's predicament by wryly stating "I guess he got the POINT?" Come on man, this is the most basic of one-liners. Arnie would've done it... (mutter). 4/10

This should be interesting with Fabio and John Kreese teamed up.

Escaping Alcatraz, two pretty boys beat up a wharf full of street fighters.

No reason is given for what they're fighting over.

John Kreese appears sporting Richard Marx's hair, and he makes a deal with "Ring of Fire's" Steven Vincent Leigh.

These two pretty boys look like Swayze and Brandon Lee.

Rolling with Sensei Kreese, Fabio delivers an empty briefcase to an aged Fonzy lookalike, and I've got a buck says that he assassinates him in this scene.

Confused about his identity, Fonzy takes a minute to realize that he's actually Klaus Kinski, but it's too late as Sensei Kreese detonates the ACME TNT, which resembles the cartoon explosion you see when Wild E. Coyote gets killed.

Not one of these senseless movies about murder again.

Oh no, it's the Ice T Stinger from "Pocket Ninjas." Don't know about his choice of pajamas, though.

Kreese is looking a little like a Bee Gees member himself. Was Martin Kove stereotyped as a villain in most of the entertainment he's in? I'm hard pressed to imagine what he's doing when he doesn't play a baddie.

Fabio is insulted when Brandon Lee calls him "Goldilocks."

Stealing the plot from "Bloodsport," Swayze arrives in LA and hooks up with a news reporter to go undercover to find illegal fight clubs, or something.

John Kreese is playing the same role, and look, as he did in "Shootfighter."

Swayze actually looks like Seann William Scott.

Seann William Swayze puts on a display in front of Pet Detective Kramer and gets his foot in the door for a so-called death match.

No doubt he'll fight Fabio at the end. And win. These movies are so predictable.

A bit of friction abounds when Goldilocks questions Sensei Kreese's authority and direction.

Seann William Swayze and Barbie's love blossoms, and she soon stops being a reporter. What happened to her day job?

Seann William Swayze looked a little like Oscar De La Hoya just then. Minus the French pantyhose and lipstick.

A Karl move from the movie "Ghost" sees Seann William Swayze spill vomit all over his shirt just to bed Barbie in a manipulative move that she falls for.

Goldilocks and Seann William Swayze go at it at the end, as predicted.

Amazing - I looked down for a minute to write this down, and I missed what happened to Fabio.

Kreese cops a few slugs in the back and is easily defeated.

Goldilocks pulls a Robert Z'Dar move and comes back from the dead, only to trip and fall and impale himself on a "Deathship" harpoon.

I love these movies where the lead kills ten or more people and doesn't have to face any criminal charges.

The movie ends on some McHappy Hour note about a cheeseburger, and it's as lame as all the children cheering over ice cream at the end of "Kickboxer 2."