The Mask (1994)

Peter Riegert: Lt. Mitch Kellaway

Photos 

Quotes 

• Doyle : [frisking the Mask]  Really big sunglasses.

  Park Policeman : Bike horn.

  Doyle : Small mouth bass.

  Park Policeman : Bowling pin.

  Doyle : [Yells in pain]  Mouse trap.

  Park Policeman : Rubber chicken.

  Mask : A little to the left... that's it.

  Doyle : [squeezes a stress releaver toy a few times]  Mmmm, I don't know. Funny eyeball glasses?

  Mask : I've never seen those before in my life.

  Park Policeman : Bazooka?

  Mask : I have a permit for that.

  Doyle : [going through The Mask's pocket]  Picture of Kellaway's wife.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : [shocked]  What?

  Mask : [mockingly]  Uh-oh.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : [sees a photo of his wife in a sexy nightgown with the words 'Call Me Lover! 555-9371' written on it]  Margaret! You son of a bitch!

  [He tries to punch the Mask, but the Mask easily dodges him] 

  Mask : Geez, I figured you had a sense of humor. After all - you married her!

  [slaps both Kellaway and Doyle in the face repeatedly] 

  Mask : That's gotta hurt.

  [makes a silly face and runs off] 

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Get him!

  [looks down to see his and Doyle's wrists are handcuffed to each other] 

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Doyle!

• Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Ipkiss! Police! Freeze!

  [the Mask freezes in mid-air] 

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Put your hands up.

  The Mask : [his teeth are frozen together]  But you told me to freeze!

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : All right, all right. Un-freeze.

  [the Mask un-freezes and falls to the ground] 

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : You're under arrest.

  [pulls out his cuffs] 

  The Mask : No! It wasn't me! It was the One-Armed Man!

  [regular voice] 

  The Mask : All right, I confess! I did it, ya hear? And I'm glad! GLAD, I TELL YA!

  [gets down on his knees and puts his hands up together] 

  The Mask : What are they gonna do to me, Sarge? WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : [puts the cuffs on The Mask's wrists]  Sorry, son. That's not my department. Search him.

  The Mask : [the cops bring The Mask to his feet]  Ow! Where's a cam-corder when you need one?

  [snorts in laughter, Kellaway nods as if to say "touché"] 

• Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Somebody STOLE your pajamas?

  Stanley Ipkiss : [seeing Milo jump at the closet door where the stolen money is]  Milo, no! I mean, uh, what is this world coming to when a man's... *pajama drawer* is no longer safe?

• Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Ipkiss? Stanley Ipkiss?

  Stanley Ipkiss : Yes?

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Lt. Kellaway, city precinct. You know anything about the disturbance last night?

  Stanley Ipkiss : Dis... turbance?

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Yeah, some kind of prowler broke in and attacked Mrs. Peenman.

  Stanley Ipkiss : Attacked?

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : You didn't hear anything? She unloaded a couple of rounds of buckshot 5 feet from your door.

  [Stanley sees Mrs. Peenman complaining about big hole in floor] 

  Stanley Ipkiss : This is... impossible.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Those pajamas are impossible. This actually happened.

  Stanley Ipkiss : See, I have an inner ear problem. Sometimes I can't hear anything.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Is that a fact?

  Stanley Ipkiss : Eh?

  [laughs] 

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Here's my card. If you remember anything unusual about last night, anything at all, call me.

  Stanley Ipkiss : You betcha. Thank you. And good luck... cracking the case.

• Mayor Mitchell Tilton : I want to see you in my office first thing tomorrow morning.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Yes, your honor.

  Doyle : That doesn't sound good at all.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : [Sarcastically]  No, it doesn't sound good. What would sound good to you?

  Doyle : Breakfast!

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : SHUT UP!

• Peggy Brandt : I'm with the Evening Star. Can you tell me what happened here?

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : No, and you can quote me.

  Peggy Brandt : Well, it looks like some sort of Mob tactic.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : There it is, boys, she broke the case. Come on, get these rubbernecks out of here.

• Stanley Ipkiss : [opens the door]  Hi, Lieutenant. This isn't a good time right now, so...

  [Kellaway enters] 

  Stanley Ipkiss : Won't you come in?

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Where were you last night, Ipkiss?

  Stanley Ipkiss : Here, mostly. Is something wrong?

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : What do you know about this Mask character?

  Stanley Ipkiss : [chuckles]  Mask?

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Don't insult my intelligence, Ipkiss. He robs the bank you work in and then I find this in the Coco Bongo.

  [shows Stanley a piece of his pajamas] 

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : There can't be 2 idiots with pajamas like these.

  [Milo is trying to open the door to the closet where the money is stashed away] 

  Stanley Ipkiss : Milo, no!

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : May I see those pajamas, Mr. Ipkiss?

  Stanley Ipkiss : Those, uh, those pajamas were, uh... stolen.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Somebody stole your pajamas?

  Stanley Ipkiss : [grabs Milo]  Yeah. I mean, what is the city coming to when a man's pajama drawer is no longer safe?

• Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Drop it, Tyrell!

  Dorian Tyrell : Hey, Kellaway!

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Drop it!

  Dorian Tyrell : A'right.

  [drops gun] 

  Dorian Tyrell : So, you got a warrant this time? Or'd you just stop by for a nightcap?

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : What I got is probable cause. A couple of your boys was spotted knocking over Edge City Bank.

  Dorian Tyrell : [to Doyle]  Easy, junior, you're giving me a Woody.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : And one of 'em was wearing a big green mask.

  Dorian Tyrell : You know, for once, Kellaway, you're right. Except it wasn't one of my boys. Maybe if you tried a little actual police work...

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : [to policemen]  Cuff 'em.

  Police Officer : Hey, lieutenant, we got a stiff upstairs. It's one of the guys from the heist.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Better call that high-priced lawyer of yours, Tyrell. You and I are going downtown for a little chat. Get him out of here!

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : [Spots a piece of Stanley's pajamas on floor]  Ipkiss!

• The Mask : And now, like Napoleon, I will divide and conquer.

  [about to kiss Tina] 

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Ipkiss! Police!

  The Mask : Merde.

• [Kellaway and Doyle climb over the park wall, to find the Mask leading a big dance number; Doyle tries to join in] 

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : [Grabbing Doyle by the arm]  Start dancing, and I'll blow your brains out!

• Doyle : I missed 'em.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : C'mon... we all missed 'em.

• Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : [Stanley has taken Kellaway hostage and is driving frantically to the Charity Ball to stop Dorian]  Let me out of these cuffs, Ipkiss! You're driving like a maniac!

  Stanley Ipkiss : [agitated]  I'm sorry! We're already late for the ball!

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : [cynically]  Right. Alice and the White Rabbit are gonna be REALLY disappointed.

  Stanley Ipkiss : [annoyed]  Now you're being cynical.

• Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : [On Stanley's mismatched pajamas]  There can't be two idiots with pajamas like these.

• Doyle : You got any pickle relish?

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Doyle, get in the car.

  Doyle : But I ordered onion rings.

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : Doyle!

• [Repeated line] 

  Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : [Sternly]  *Doyle*

• Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway : I still can't believe it. Hardened cops dancing in the street, and broadcast all over the eleven o'clock news!

  Doyle : The SWAT team got an offer to open in Vegas.