- Max: I'm too nostalgic. I'll admit it.
- Skippy: We graduated four months ago. What can you possibly be nostalgic for?
- Max: I'm nostalgic for conversations I had yesterday. I've begun reminiscing events before they even occur. I'm reminiscing this right now. I can't go to the bar because I've already looked back on it in my memory... and I didn't have a good time.
- Grover: I like that you drink. I like a bartender who drinks. Otherwise I feel like I'm being poisoned.
- Grover: Ok, the way I see it, if we were an old couple, dated for years, graduated, away from all these scholastic complications, and I reached over and kissed you, you wouldn't say a word, you'd be delighted, probably, but if I was to do that now it'd be quite forward, and if I did it the first time we ever met you probably would hit me.
- Jane: What do you mean?
- Grover: I just wish we were an old couple so I could do that.
- Grover: Oh, I've been to Prague. Well, I haven't "been to Prague" been to Prague, but I know that thing, that, "Stop shaving your armpits, read the Unbearable Lightness of Being, date a sculptor, now I know how bad American coffee is thing... "
- Jane: They have good beer there.
- Grover: "... now I know how bad American beer is thing."
- Max: This shouldn't be done. This guy would rather be bow hunting. Don't upset him because he'd already rather be bow hunting and any additional aggravation...
- [With Otis at the airport]
- Max: (To Grover) This is useless. We just have to walk away like mothers in nursery school.
- Grover: You know, even though all 618 of us were wearing caps and gowns out there today, I couldn't help but think it was a coincidence that we were both wearing black.
- Girl at bar: Well my brother's gay so... I know!
- Guy at party: I'll tell you the worst part about losing a foot.
- [Otis comes out of the bathroom pulling up his zipper]
- Max: That is a bad habit. You really need to finish that in the bathroom.