The First Wives Club (1996)
Bette Midler: Brenda Morelli Cushman
Photos
Quotes
-
Brenda : My Morty becomes this big shot on T.V... He was selling electronics, right? On our 20th wedding anniversary it hits midlife crisis major. He starts working out, he, he grows a moustache, he gets an earring. I said, "Morty, Morty, what are you? A pirate? what's next? A parrot?" And all of a sudden I'm a big drag. I'm holding him back because I won't go rollerblading.
-
Brenda : What's wrong?
Jilted Lover : It's my lover. She left me for this younger woman that weighs twelve pounds.
Brenda : That's just like my Morty.
Jilted Lover : Who?
Brenda : Morty.
[Shows Woman her picture]
Jilted Lover : She's butch.
-
[about her ex-husband's scantily clad date]
Brenda : What's the matter, Morty? Can't you buy her a whole dress?
-
Brenda : Wake up and smell the audit!
-
Brenda : So okay, alimony sucks. Okay, you didn't get to play a police woman in a wonder bra. But look at you, you're gorgeous! And thanks to Cher's pioneering efforts you still haven't hit puberty! And once upon a time you *were* a terrific actress! You've even got an Oscar to prove it! You've spent your whole life with people *sucking* up to you! I'm sure Annie will agree with me when I say that *your* perception of life is *somewhat altered*!
-
[Upon seeing a slinky dress]
Brenda : Now, I ask you, Duarto, who's supposed to wear that? Some anorexic teenager? Some fetus? It's a conspiracy, I know it is! I've had enough. I'm leading a protest. I'm not buying another article of clothing until these designers come to their senses!
-
Brenda : Morty! Well, look at you. You look prosperous.
Morty : Brenda, don't embarrass me.
Brenda : [Mocking Morty] Don't embarrass you.
Morty : Don't make a scene.
Brenda : Don't make a scene.
Morty : Do not make a scene.
Brenda : Don't embarrass you! You've got a *nerve*! I'll tell you what's embarrassing!
Morty : Keep your voice down.
Brenda : Being hassled by Mr. Zaworsky... because I'm behind in the rent, *that's* embarrassing. Worrying about how I'm gonna get my kid through college, *that's* embarrassing!
Morty : You know something? You *never* listen. For twenty years you never ever listened. Here,
[grabs a yellow blouse]
Morty : honey why don't you try this one in a fitting room, looks very nice on you.
Brenda : You know, I could use this. It's very beautiful and I love the color. But what am I gonna to use for money? HOW AM I GONNA PAY FOR IT?
Morty : It's the *company* that is expanding. Don't you understand that? The *company*, not *me*! I'm a mere laborer!
Brenda : You're a liar and a FRAUD!
Morty : I have no money.
Brenda : Really? Why don't you look in your purse?
Morty : Oh you're very funny.
Shelly : There stunning Morton, I need all of them.
Brenda : Morton?
Shelly : [covers her face with a dress] Oh God, make it go away.
Brenda : Shelly! Look at you! My my, the bulimia certainly has paid off.
Morty : Don't start.
Brenda : What's a matter Morty? Can't you buy her a whole dress?
Shelly : Brenda, why don't you try these on in
[holds out her arms]
Shelly : *your size*!
Morty : It's really a delight running into you today Brenda.
-
Brenda : There she is. Princess Pelvis!
-
Brenda : Those lips - what's in 'em? Are they wax?
-
Brenda : My, my, the bulimia has certainly paid off.
-
Brenda : Ya know I wonder how drunk Cynthia was when she decided to do a jack knife off Park Avenue.