Scream (1996)

Jamie Kennedy: Randy

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Sidney Prescott : [when Randy reveals that he's still alive]  Oh, my God. Randy I thought you were dead.

  Randy : I probably should be. I never thought I'd be so happy to be a virgin.

• Randy : There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex.

  [crowd boos] 

  Randy : BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs.

  [crowd cheers and raises their bottles] 

  Randy : The sin factor! It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.

  Stu : I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?

  Randy : Yeah, sure.

  Stu : I'll be right back.

  [crowd cheers] 

  Randy : See, you push the laws and you end up dead. Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.

• Randy : [Gale, Sid and Randy are looking at Billy's body]  Careful. This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life, for one last scare.

  [Billy starts to rise] 

  Sidney Prescott : [shoots Billy]  Not in my movie.

• Randy : The police are always off track with this shit! If they'd watch Prom Night, they'd save time! There's a formula to it. A very simple formula!

  [yelling in video store] 

  Randy : EVERYBODY'S A SUSPECT!

• Randy : It's the millennium. Motives are incidental.

• Randy : There's always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend. That's the beauty of it all! Simplicity! Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience.

• Randy : If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath - would you be standing in the horror section?

• Stu : As if.

  Randy : Oh, really, Alicia?

• Stu : Because there's no way a girl could have killed them.

  Tatum : That is so sexist. The killer could easily be female. Basic Instinct.

  Randy : That was an ice pick. Not exactly the same thing.

  Stu : Yeah, Casey and Steve were completely hollowed out. Takes a man to do something like that.

  Tatum : Or a man's mentality.

• Stu : I wanna see breasts. I wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts. When do we see Jamie Lee's breasts?

  Randy : Breasts? Not until "Trading Places" in 1983. Jamie Lee was always a virgin in horror movies. She didn't show her tits 'til she went legits.

• Randy : Now that Billy tried to mutilate her, do you think Sid would go out with me?

• Randy : Listen up. They found Principal Himbry dead. He was gutted and hung from the goal post on the football field.

  Drunk teen : Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go over there before they pry him down!

• Stu : I didn't kill anybody.

  Billy : Nobody said you did.

  Stu : Thanks, buddy!

  Randy : Besides... "Takes a MAN to do something like that!"

  Stu : I ought to gut your ass in a second, kid.

  Randy : [using Jerry Lewis' voice]  Tell me something. Did you really put her liver in the mailbox? Because I heard they found her liver in the mailbox next to her spleen and her pancreas.