Men in Black (1997)
Vincent D'Onofrio: Edgar
Photos
Quotes
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Edgar : I go out, I work my butt off to make a living, all I want is to come home to a nice clean house with a nice fat steak on the table, but instead I get this. It looks like poison. Don't you take that away, I'm eating that, damn it! It IS poison, isn't it? I swear to God I would not be surprised if it was, the way you skulk around here like a dog that's been hit too much or ain't been hit enough, I can't make up my mind. You're useless, Beatrice. The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my goddamn truck!
[Just then, a flying saucer smashes his truck, and Edgar comes out of the house to look at the damage]
Edgar : Figures.
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[the Edgar-Bug has just captured the deputy medical examiner Laurel Weaver and is holding her at ray-gunpoint]
Kay : Let her go, shit eater.
Bug : Oh, listen, monkey boy. Compared to you humans, I'm on the top of the evolutionary ladder, so can it, all right?
Kay : You're breaking my heart. Show me your face and I'll cure all your ills.
Bug : You ever pull the wings off a fly? You care to see the fly get even?
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[Dr. Weaver is trying to stall Edgar so she can escape]
Dr. Weaver : You don't want to eat me. I'm a very important person on my planet. Like a queen, a goddess even. There are those who worship me. I'm not saying this to impress you, I'm just warning you it could start a war.
Edgar : War? Good. That means more food for my family. All 78 million of them. That's a lot of mouths to feed, Highness.
Dr. Weaver : You're a wonderful dad, but I'm staying HERE!
[escapes]
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Edgar : You idiots! You don't get it - I've won! It's over! You're milksuckers! You don't matter! In fact, in just a few seconds you won't even BE matter!
Kay : You're under arrest for violating sections of the Tycho Treaty.
Jay : So hand over whatever galaxy you are carrying and step away from your busted-ass vehicle and put your hands on your head.
Edgar : I'll put my hands on my head. Like this?
[tears off his skin to reveal himself as the alien bug, and the agents proceed to fight him]
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Edgar/Bug : Y'know, I've noticed an infestation here. Everywhere I look, in fact. Nothing but undeveloped, unevolved, barely conscious pond scum, totally convinced of their own superiority as they scurry about their short, pointless lives.
Zap-Em Man : Well, yeah. Uh... don't you want to get rid of 'em?
Edgar/Bug : Ah... in the worst way.
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[the Bug takes Dr. Weaver with him into the flying saucer]
Edgar : You're coming with me.
Dr. Weaver : What?
Edgar : It's a long trip. I'll need a snack.
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Edgar : Where do you keep your dead?
Manny the News Vendor : [thinks] I don't have any dead.
Edgar : Where?
Manny the News Vendor : I don't know, the city morgue!
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Edgar : Get your big butt back in the house!
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Arquillian : To the continued reign of the Arquillian Empire.
Gentle Rosenburg the Arquillian Jeweler : To the safety of the Galaxy.
[both drinking a cup of soda, but Edgar appears with serving two Pirogi flavings when a bug was ontop of it]
Gentle Rosenburg the Arquillian Jeweler : [looks up at him] You can kill us both, but you will not find the Galaxy.
Edgar : Oh. You're right about one thing.
[he pokes on Gentle Rosenburg's neck and pokes at the Arquillian's neck, then steals a thing, throws on a table a cat jumps in then hisses then scares him then walks away]
Dishwasher : You're not going anywhere, pal.
[pushes him and fells off]