- Jeremy Lewis: Do you know what they do to you if you're caught doing drugs in Morroco?
- Julian Lewis: No?
- Jeremy Lewis: They hand you over to the RUG squad. Aaaah I fuckin' had ew!
- Jeremy Lewis: What's your handicap, Bryn?
- [Smashes golf club into Bryn's knee]
- Bryn Cartwright: [In agony, with tape over his mouth] MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
- Jeremy Lewis: Not bad.
- Fatty Lewis: This glue is for sticking my model aeroplanes together, not sticking up your fucking noses! Buy your own fucking glue!
- Jeremy Lewis: Why is it that a 2 litre bottle of coke costs 27 pence, but a 1 litre bottle costs 37 pence?
- Bryn Cartwright: Here's twenty quid. Buy yourselves a big can of sticky-sticky, and fuck off to Noddyland.
- Bryn Cartwright: You burned my mum and dad and my sister just cause of your fucking poodle hey it wasant me honest boys.