Orgazmo (1997)
Michael Dean Jacobs: Maxxx Orbison
Photos
Quotes
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Maxxx Orbison : Put your tongue in her mouth, for Christ's sake!
Joe Young : How would Christ benefit from me putting my tongue in someone's mouth?
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[Joe is introduced to the young actresses he'll be co-starring with]
Joe Young : Oh... I, I can't say that.
Maxxx Orbison : Say what?
Joe Young : What are they called?
Maxxx Orbison : The Assfuck Twins.
Joe Young : I can't say that. Can we call them something else?
Maxxx Orbison : But they're the Assfuck Twins.
Joe Young : Well I know, but um, couldn't I call them the Naughty Twins or something?
Maxxx Orbison : No, you *couldn't* just call them the Naughty Twins. They're the Assfuck Twins. Why would you call them The Naughty Twins when they get fucked in the ass all the time?
Joe Young : Well, that's pretty naughty.
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Maxxx Orbison : What's your name, again?
Sancho : I am Sancho.
Maxxx Orbison : Look, I get a lot of people auditioning all the time. What makes you think that you'd be good enough for porno?
Sancho : I am Sancho.
Maxxx Orbison : Great... but what do you do?
Sancho : What do I do? I am Sancho.
Maxxx Orbison : And...?
Sancho : And there are many Jeffs in the world, and many Toms as well. But I... am Sancho.
Maxxx Orbison : And...?
Sancho : Are you Sancho? No you are not. Neither is Scott Baio Sancho. Frank Gifford is not Sancho. But I...
Maxxx Orbison : You... are Sancho!
Sancho : That's right.
Maxxx Orbison : Okay, you're hired.
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Lisa : [to Maxxx] You pig, you're responsible for degrading all of those women.
Clark : Equally degradable in pornographic films.
Lisa : Men are always in a position of power.
Rodgers : They're the ones who want the product so bad, they're the victims.
Lisa : Well, it exploits men by exploiting women.
Clark : Hence, it exploits people.
Maxxx Orbison : [pissed off] SHUT UP!
Clark : Yeah.
Maxxx Orbison : I do what i do and i make a lot of money and i don't care what i do to people because they're all idiots.
Clark : Yeah.
Maxxx Orbison : Especially you Clark, you pig fucking hunk of shit!.
Clark : Yeah.
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Maxxx Orbison : Bring me my stunt cock.
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Maxxx Orbison : Yeah, I just dig that Jesus guy!
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T-Rex : Hi fellas, I'm ready to fuck.
Orgazmo : Huh?
T-Rex : You want me on top?
Orgazmo : Uh... NO! I'll be on top!
T-Rex : You're gonna make me cum, or I'm gonna kick your butt!
Maxxx Orbison : Aaaand... action!
[T-Rex throws Orgazmo down and starts dry humping him]
T-Rex : Oh! Come on nah! Come on nah! You make me so hot nah! You make me so hot!
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Maxxx Orbison : Okay, we're sucking, we're sucking...
Dave the Lighting Guy : Yeah! SUCK THAT COCK!
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Maxxx Orbison : You get me some nice close-ups... and you give me a nice slow zoom, starting with a medium closeup on the cock... and then widening out to an establishing shot.
Camera Man : Genius.
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Maxxx Orbison : Okay people, let's go! Lights on!
Dave the Lighting Guy : Lights are on. It's stable, Captain, Woohoo! Let's see some fuckin' action!
Maxxx Orbison : Dave?
Dave the Lighting Guy : Yeah?
Maxxx Orbison : Calm down.
Dave the Lighting Guy : Right. Sorry.
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Interviewer : What's the difference between Orgazmo and your previous porn titles, like Schindler's Fist?
Maxxx Orbison : I really think history will describe Orgazmo better than I possibly could.
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Doctor : Your testicles have grown to the size of Florida oranges.
Maxxx Orbison : Don't you think I notice THAT? Tell me something I don't know, you cocky PRICK!
Doctor : I am going to have to amputate your pee pee.
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Saffi : Who will I be fucking in this scene?
Maxxx Orbison : Um, you'll be fucking Ben and Rodgers. By the way, this is our new Orgazmo.
Saffi : Hi. Are we fucking?
Maxxx Orbison : No, we'll be bringing in a stunt cock.
Saffi : And I'm NOT doing any ass-licking in this scene!
Maxxx Orbison : Yes, yes, no ass-licking!
Saffi : I'm not an ass-licker!
[Walks away]
Maxxx Orbison : [shaking his head] Give 'em an inch, and they take a mile.
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Lisa : Men like you make me sick! Jesus is going to put an end to you.
Maxxx Orbison : If Jesus Christ wants to bring Maxxx Oribson down, he's going to need a lot of help.
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[repeated line]
Maxxx Orbison : Or else you'll be sleeping with the fishes. See?