- Norma Shearer's Marie Antoinette Double: You're not Tyrone Power?
- Bill: Oh, no, no. I'm doublin' for him. I'm a, sort of, a Double Power. O
- Bill: What do you mean the king? He looks more like Hugh Herbert to me.
- Norma Shearer's Marie Antoinette Double: It's Hugh Herbert's double.
- Bill: Yeah, I know. But, I thought Robert Morley played the King
- The King: Oh, he did; but, I played the Ace! Hoo-hoo! What a trick! Ha-ha. I'm full of tricks. Aw, the trees are treesee and and grass is grassee. All nature is marvelous. I love nature. I love the birds, the trees and the flowers and chickens. Hoo-hoo! Do I love the chickens!
- Mae West Double: Hello, boys.
- The King: Hoo-hoo!
- Mae West Double: Oh, pardon me. I seem to be in the wrong picture.
- Norma Shearer's Marie Antoinette Double: It's quite obvious that you are.
- Mae West Double: Okay, sister, I can take a hint.
- The King: What's your hurry, Toots? Hop on, we'll take a spin through the park.
- Mae West Double: Just who are you?
- The King: I am the King!
- Mae West Double: You look more like the Joker to me.
- The King: Oh, what does it matter. So long as I have the Jack. Hoo-hoo!
- Mae West Double: [singing] Step by step I'll reach the top of the ladder; It was a dangerous climb; But, now I'm a lady; Come up and see me sometime.
- ZaSu Pitts Double: Joe, what are they going to do to you?
- Joe E. Brown Double: I don't know, but, would you give a guy a kiss?
- ZaSu Pitts Double: Oh, I don't know what the guy looks like. Go bring him in.
- Joe E. Brown Double: Hey, I'm the guy!
- Bing Crosby Double: [singing] I'm tired of singing songs about Hawaii, I'm wacky on the beach at Waikiki...
- Greta Garbo Impersonator: Captain, when I took this boat to go back to Sweden, I thought that I would be alone.
- Charles Laughton's Captain Bligh Double: Have any of my men been bothering you?
- Greta Garbo Impersonator: Not your men, Captain. The mate. He has proposed six times since we left Hoboken.
- Charles Laughton's Captain Bligh Double: My mate?
- Greta Garbo Impersonator: Yes. He wants to be *my* mate.
- Charles Laughton's Captain Bligh Double: Mr. Christian, this lady has been complaining about you.
- Fletcher Christian: Oh, that's the first complaint I've received onboard the ship. I must be slipping sir. Hoo-hoo!
- Charles Laughton's Captain Bligh Double: You may be slipping your head in a noose, Mr. Christian, if you don't leave this lady alone.
- Fletcher Christian: In that case, I will leave her alone. Hoo-hoo!
- Greta Garbo Impersonator: Tank you, very much, Captain. I tink I go now.
- Charles Laughton's Captain Bligh Double: That's all, Mr. Christian.
- Fletcher Christian: And there will be no noose?
- Charles Laughton's Captain Bligh Double: There will be no noose.
- Fletcher Christian: Oh, goody-goody! No noose is good noose. Hoo-hoo!
- Cantina Baritone: [singing] You will surrender to my guitar, Just so long as you got a heart, I don't care who you are...
- Eddie Cantor Impersonator: [singing in blackface] If you're gloomy, Then just listen to me, You're in love, That's why you're feeling low, You can't see your honey, 'Cause you've got no money, If that's the case, I'm here to let you know, Anytimes the time to fall in love, Just as long as there's a moon above...