Fallout (1997 Video Game)

Charlie Adler: Harold

Quotes 

• Vault Dweller : Where were the mutants coming from?

  Harold : Everywhere! Hell, seemed like you couldn't fart without hitting one. But mostly in the northwest.

  Vault Dweller : You farted Northwest?

  Harold : [laughs]  Pretty good... Noo...

• Vault Dweller : How did you survive?

  Harold : Didn't. Got killed...

  [laughs then coughs] 

  Harold : God, I love that joke.

  Vault Dweller : Yeah, I can tell.

• Harold : Spare change, old friend, old pal? Can you help a poor mutant down on his luck?

  [cough] 

  Vault Dweller : Keep away from me!

• Harold : Well, I was a trader. Did pretty good making a circuit between survivors. Lost a lotta good people, though.

  [coughs] 

  Vault Dweller : How?

  Harold : Gangers got'em. Scavengers attacking the caravans. And mutants, son of a dog, if they weren't springing up like rabbits with a mission.

  [cough] 

  Harold : Had to have an army of guards with, just to do a deal.

  Vault Dweller : Didn't the guards help?

  Harold : Course they helped, ya bonehead! Just too damn many to handle!

• Harold : Spare change, old friend, old pal? Can you help a poor mutant down on his luck?

  [cough] 

  Vault Dweller : Yeah, here's a $25. Good luck to you

  Harold : Oh, kind of ya friend. Very kind. You know, if I could clear the gunk out of there, you just might find a tear in Old Harold's eye.

  Vault Dweller : Why is that?

  Harold : [cough]  Rest of the Hubber's been picking on me like a bad booger since I came to town. I can't leave, though. When the deals are done

  [wheez] 

  Harold : it's still my home.

  Vault Dweller : Who are the Hubbers?

  Harold : You're in the Hub, right? People who live in the Hub? Hubbers. Get it?

  [cough] 

  Harold : Sheesh! Thanks for the help and good luck... think you're gonna need it.

• Harold : A robot crane crashed into us. Last I saw of Grey, he was flying through the air into some sort of acid bath. I was in bad shape and... well I passed out.

  Vault Dweller : And you never saw Grey again?

  Harold : No, you idiot. I just told you I never saw him again didn't I?

• Vault Dweller : Is there a shorter version of this story?

  Harold : I like telling it my way. Short version will cost you 25 extra, friend. Which will it be?

  Vault Dweller : How about neither, you old fart?