Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (1998–2001)

Traylor Howard: Sharon Carter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sharon : Just because Pete brings her pizza doesn't mean he's delivering the sausage.

  Berg : I never... want to forget that you said that.

• Pete : Berg, what you need is a little reenactment. Sharon? Would you like to play the part of Ashley?

  Sharon : Oh, yes... no... yes... no.

  [to Pete] 

  Sharon : I'm getting into character.

• Sharon Carter : Can I talk to you guys for a second?

  [storms past them] 

  Berg : She knows.

  Pete : She does?

  Berg : Play dumb.

  Pete : We are dumb.

  [they walk over to Sharon] 

  Sharon Carter : Are you guys nuts?

  Berg : [flipping a page on his notepad]  I'm Nuts. This is my partner, Pretzels.

  Pete : What seems to be the problem, ma'am?

• Sharon Carter : Actually, we're engaged "in theory."

  Pete : Oh, that's great, congratulations. I'd explain it to Collette if I spoke French, and understood what you were talking about.

  Sharon Carter : Why is everyone having such a tough time with this? It's very simple - an engagement is a promise to be married. and I am promising to be engaged, which in theory is a promise to be married, hence we are engaged in theory.

  Johnny Donnelly : Good luck finding a card for that.

• Ashley : Well, a strong enough wind could blow it right over.

  Pete : [laughs]  What, are you kiddin' me? You're a med student. What the hell do you know about architecture?

  Ashley : Well, my father's an architect.

  Pete : Yeah, well, my mother's a woman, but that doesn't mean I understand them.

  Sharon : It's true, he really doesn't.

• Sharon Carter : Oh, run away, you bimbos, the killer's right behind you! Don't turn around. Don't... start making out with the other girl.

  [reads video cover] 

  Sharon Carter : "I Know Who You Did Last Summer." Cute, guys.

• [at a boxing match] 

  Ashley : What am I doing here?

  Sharon : According to the Bible, to balance out "good."

• Ashley : Sharon doesn't want to rush into marriage and make the same mistakes that her mother did.

  Berg : Oh ,yeah, that's it.

  Sharon : That *is* it.

  Berg : I said, "Oh yeah that's it."

• Berg : So, your mother hates Johnny.

  Sharon : No, my mother loves Johnny.

  Berg : So, she loves Johnny too much.

  Sharon : No, my mother's been married three times.

  Berg : And once to Johnny!