- Helen Hannah: [to Thorold] Would you tell Maggie that she should kill anyone who stands in her way of making her dreams come true? That's the lie Macalusso is spreading to the world, and it's the same lie that the serpent told Eve in the Garden of Eden.
- Helen Hannah: Thorold, Godspeed.
- Thorold: I told you I don't believe in God.
- Helen Hannah: It's OK. He believes in you.
- Willie Spino: Helen Hannah, the woman who denounced the messiah on national television, the world's most wanted fugitive, and my very dear stepsister, meet Thorold Stone, the crazed lunatic who killed me.
- Thorold: Hi.
- Thorold: [to God] You didn't make a believer out of me when my mom died of cancer when I was a kid, and You're sure as hell not going to make a believer out of me now.
- Willie Spino: Leave it to the professionals.
- Helen Hannah: Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.
- Helen Hannah: He says you only need faith the size of a grain of mustard seed, He'll take care of the rest.
- [Willie is smoking a cigarette]
- Helen Hannah: Do you really need those things?
- Willie Spino: Hey, sis, listen - any wimp can quit smoking, OK? It takes a real man to deal with lung cancer.
- Cindy: Um, we've got some leftover salad if you're hungry.
- Willie Spino: Salad? You gotta be kidding me. Don't you have some steaks lying around here someplace?
- Cindy: Well, I'm vegetarian.
- Willie Spino: Yeah, well, if God didn't want us to eat animals he shouldn't have made them out of meat.
- Cindy: Oh, I'm not vegetarian 'cause I love animals. I'm vegetarian 'cause I hate plants.
- Willie Spino: Yeah, well, I didn't work my way to the top of the food chain to sit around chewin' on a cucumber.
- Cindy: Oh, well, that explains a lot. Vegetables ARE brain food.
- Willie Spino: Ooh. She's not only gorgeous, but she's rude and sarcastic too.
- Cindy: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going into the petshop makes you a cat.
- David Nidd: Who are you?
- Thorold Stone: What are you?
- Len Parker: I am a servant of the messiah. I'm here to help him rid the world of anyone and everyone who stands in his way and now, gentlemen, that includes you!