Alice in Wonderland (1999 TV Movie)

Gene Wilder: Mock Turtle

Quotes 

• [the Mock Turtle begins his tale] 

  Mock Turtle : Once...

  [starts moaning and wringing his hands] 

  Mock Turtle : I was once a real turtle. I was a real--

  [breaks down completely] 

  Alice : [rises to leave]  Thank you for that very interesting story, sir.

  Mock Turtle : I haven't started yet.

  The Gryphon : [half-pleading]  Stay. You may learn something.

• Mock Turtle : When Gryph and I were little we went to school in the same sea. And the master was an old turtle. We used to call him "tortoise."

  Alice : Why would you call him tortoise if he wasn't one?

  Mock Turtle : We called him "tortoise" because he "taught us."

  The Gryphon : You ought to be ashamed of yourself, asking a simple question like that.

• The Gryphon : Mockers, tell this young lady about yourself.

  Mock Turtle : She's come to the right person for that. Sit down, both of you.

  The Gryphon : No, thanks. I've heard it before.

  Mock Turtle : Sit down. It's the least you can do.