The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Michael C. Williams: Michael Williams

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael Williams : You know what? I kicked the fu... I'm sorry it's fucked up. It's fucked up but I kicked that fucking map into the creek yesterday! It was useless! I kicked that fucker into the creek!

  [laughs hysterically] 

  Heather Donahue : I fucking hope he's kidding.

  Michael Williams : WAHOO! WOW!

  Joshua Leonard : Mike...

  Michael Williams : [laughing]  Holy shit.

  Heather Donahue : I really fucking hope he's kidding.

  Joshua Leonard : Mike are you kidding?

  Heather Donahue : I really fucking hope he's kidding.

  Joshua Leonard : Mike, are you fucking kidding?

  Michael Williams : [laughing]  I'm sorry, man.

  Heather Donahue : You have gotta be kidding me. You have gotta fucking be kidding me!

  Joshua Leonard : Is this some fucking game?

  [shoves Mike] 

  Michael Williams : Get the fuck off me man!

  [the two scuffle] 

  Heather Donahue : WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR FUCKING MIND?

  Michael Williams : No I'm not outta my mind! The map wasn't doing shit all day!

  Heather Donahue : DO YOU REALIZE - NOT TO YOU - BUT I KNEW WHAT THE FUCK THAT MAP SAID!

  Michael Williams : I'm sorry!

  Heather Donahue : YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!

  Michael Williams : I'm sorry!

  Heather Donahue : You are a fucking asshole! And if we...

  Michael Williams : The map wasn't doing shit all day!

  Heather Donahue : If we get hurt or if we die up here it is your fucking fault! It is YOUR... FUCKING... FAULT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I can't believe you could be such an ASSHOLE! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?

• Heather Donahue : How's east?

  Michael Williams : East?

  Heather Donahue : Yeah, we've been going south all this time. How's east?

  Michael Williams : Wicked Witch of the West, Wicked Witch of the East. Which one was bad?

  Heather Donahue : Wicked Witch of the West was the bad one.

  Michael Williams : Then we should go east.

• Michael Williams : There's people out here messing with us, and I'm not going to play with that.

  Heather Donahue : How do you know it was people?

  Michael Williams : Well, even if it isn't, I'm not going to play with that, either!

• Michael Williams : [sees dozens of stick-men hanging from trees]  No redneck is this creative.

• [Josh and Heather are talking about "Gilligan's Island."] 

  Michael Williams : Let's not call him "the Captain," you illiterate TV people. It's "the Skipper."

• Michael Williams : What are some of your favorite things to do?

  Heather Donahue : Well, on Sundays I used to like to go hiking, but now...

• Joshua Leonard : I heard two noises coming from two separate areas of space over there. One of them could have been an owl, but the other one sounded like a cackling.

  Heather Donahue : No way!

  Joshua Leonard : Yeah, it was like a serious cackling.

  Heather Donahue : See, my problem is that I sleep like a fucking rock.

  Michael Williams : If I heard a cackling, I would have shit in my pants!

• Heather Donahue : [Pointing the video camera at Mike's chest]  It's warm out today so this is the first time that we're seeing Mike's chest. It's really hard to pick up on video actually. Mike has really sporadic hair patterns on his chest. It's like: blank... hairy... blank... hairy.

  Michael Williams : You should see my ass.

• Heather Donahue : [Heather finds a dead mouse on the forest floor, slowly zooming in on it as she speaks]  What could have killed this mouse? Could it be the Blair Witch?

  Michael Williams : [off screen]  How about God?

• Michael Williams : [Josh, Heather and Mike had been walking south all day to get out of the woods. They came across a log they previously crossed supposedly the same day]  That's the tree we crossed. That tree's down. Same one.

  [walks to the log site] 

  Michael Williams : OH, GOD!

  Heather Donahue : Uh, no...

  Michael Williams : YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! THIS IS A JOKE!

  Heather Donahue : Uh, no...

  Michael Williams : THIS IS NOT FUNNY!

  Heather Donahue : Mike, just please stop... please, please stop...

  Michael Williams : UH NO!

  Heather Donahue : It's not the same log, Mike. It's not the same log.

  Michael Williams : SAME LOG!

  Heather Donahue : Look, it's not!

  Michael Williams : IT IS! OPEN YOUR EYES!

  Heather Donahue : It's not the same log.

  Heather Donahue : [looks at the log] 

  Heather Donahue : It's not... it's not the same log...

  Heather Donahue : [starts crying quietly as Mike and Josh yells furiously] 

  Heather Donahue : It's the same log.

  Joshua Leonard : FUCK! YOU! GOD!

  Heather Donahue : [attempts to calm herself down]  It's the same log. OK. It's OK. It's OK... OK...

  Heather Donahue : [later, at noon]  Where do you want to go to camp? I guess that south didn't work, so tomorrow, we'll go east. I don't know what to say, Josh.

  Joshua Leonard : How the fuck did we wind up in the same fucking place...

  Heather Donahue : We walked south ALL DAY! OK, we've walked south ALL FUCKING DAY! I DON'T KNOW HOW WE END UP HERE!

• Michael Williams : I could help you, but I'd rather stand here and record.

• [On the sounds in the night] 

  Michael Williams : They're people fucking with our heads.

  Heather Donahue : But no one knows we're out here.

  Michael Williams : Yeah, but have you ever seen 'Deliverance'?

• Heather Donahue : Mike, go outside and check it out. Why won't you?

  Michael Williams : I don't hear anything

  Heather Donahue : Because you're fucking scared! Because you're fucking scared!

  Michael Williams : There's nothing out there!

• Michael Williams : [Mike is laughing hysterically]  I kicked the map into the creek!

  Heather Donahue : YOU DID WHAT?

  Michael Williams : I kicked it into the...

  [he is laughing too hard to continue] 

  Heather Donahue : You are a fucking asshole! What the FUCK were you thinking? What the FUCK were you THINKING?

• Michael Williams : I agreed to a scouted-out project!

• Heather Donahue : Tell me you're not eating a dead leaf...

  Michael Williams : Yes.

• Heather Donahue : Mike, relax.

  Michael Williams : Don't fuckin' tell me to relax!

• Michael Williams : What's with that slime on your backpack?

  Joshua Leonard : That's not slime, it's just water. No wait, it is slime, what the fuck?

• Heather Donahue : Give me the compass. You've betrayed us all beyond. Way fucking beyond.

  Michael Williams : Bullshit. You betrayed us when you couldn't get us out of the woods last night.

  Heather Donahue : Yeah, thanks.

• Michael Williams : I found some cigarettes. I found them all the way in the bottom of my pack. We're still alive 'cause we're smoking.

• Michael Williams : [screaming sadly to himself]  ... but I'm not gonna see it 'cause I'm in the woods!

• Michael Williams : Who wants a cheeseburger?

  Heather Donahue : I do. I do.

  Michael Williams : I have a cheeseburger in my back pocket.

• Joshua Leonard : Dude, I can't believe we're even stitching those pants at this point, man.

  Michael Williams : Well, I'm cold, man.

  Heather Donahue : The smallest comforts we can get are good.

  Joshua Leonard : Doesn't it just seem absurd, though, at this point?

  Michael Williams : Yes, it does.

  Heather Donahue : A lot of things seem absurd.