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Flop sweat galore in asinine porno comedy
lor_27 May 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Pornographer Ted Roter has his following based on the (take your pick:) quirkiness or just horribleness of his approach - his films make offbeat porn by Alex De Renzy or Shaun Costello seem like a model of decorum in comparison. This nutsy exercise (note that its marketing compares itself to ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST) is just cuckoo.

Of course, everyone has their own taste in comedy, but I found this relentlessly overwritten (the opposite of a Costello or De Renzy winging it movie) attempt at vulgar humor taxing to watch. In the central role usually taken by Roter himself, Larry Moore makes non- spontaneous wise cracks and dirty puns in such a relentless fashion as to drain all potential humor. It's like the James Toback approach to picking up girls - the more you throw out there the greater chance of scoring.

Detailing the action would consume more than IMDb's limit, but basically a series of goofy patients present themselves to the good doc and his sexual colleague Ms. Johnson (unimpressive in all respects including acting Dawn Perry) and various forms of kinky sex result. At one point Roter inserts a few frames (maybe adding up to less than five seconds) of XXX gay daisy chain footage, perhaps a subliminal act of defiance as to what audiences will watch in mainstream porn.

Elsewhere his raunchiness is fairly tame: notably an odd couple where roles have been reversed: man and woman both cross-dressing and headed for Sweden to have operations whereby his genitalia will be transferred to her and I guess vice versa. Porno stud R.J. Reynolds plays the wanna-be woman of the couple and this segment at least makes (in a goofy way) a plea for tolerance.

Main couple is really boring: bosomy Roter regular Monique Faberge (she doesn't ever look remotely like her moniker conjures up -more of a plain Jane type) and Robert Bullock, whose problems pale next to the other weirdos.

The wonderful loops superstar Tawny Pearl is on hand to do her underage act, replete with "Yes daddy, I've been bad" to horny father figure Moore.

A crazy orgy is staged to kill off a lot of screen time and has its humor set at below sophomoric level, even with jokes revolving around food. There's a stud named Halevah who keeps popping up to service women, a blind character named Billy who gives us some off- color humor about the handicapped, and no Roter epic would be complete without the usual smarmy Bill Margold performance, a pretend Bogart private eye who brings satire of the '40s noir protagonist down several notches below sea level.

I checked off the Spoiler Alert box in order to inform you that the charlatan screenwriter ploy has been used here: yes, doc and Ms. Johnson are phonies -lunatics running the asylum until the real doc shows up in his limo at the end of the movie. Just as putrid a payoff as waking up - it was all a dream!

Given that the majority of 21st Century porn fans support the inane "parody" movement with their wallets and even the directors of same win industry "awards", crap like MASTER & MS. JOHNSON does have an audience out there that deserves it and is welcome to it.
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