- Darrin Darlow: Appearance, my friend, is first and foremost in this savage land that we call high school. We are graded not only on intellectual prowess, but also on our physical appearance.
- Mickey McGouvney: Uh...you have a mullet.
- Mark Cannon: The two of you have a common interest. I happen to know that Kirby likes cars. In fact, his project this semester is a garage door opener holder, and get this...it's for his car. Do I have to spell it out for you? He likes cars; you like to race cars.
- Darrin Darlow: Well, that's great, Mark. That's our common ground? I race go-karts; he builds shitty little boxes to hold garage door openers. Well, guess what? He has an asshole and you are an asshole. That's your common ground. You go talk to him.