- Dave: You're so generous and... nice.
- Marcy Sternfeld: You know I tell myself that all the time but it sounds so much better when someone else says it.
- Hunter Fallow: Every time I kiss you I think I deserve an Emmy.
- Quentin King: And every time I kiss you I think why can't I kiss a girl with breasts.
- Hunter Fallow: I blame this on Sarah Michelle Gellar. If Buffy weren't such a hit, this never would've happened.
- [In a bar with loud music]
- Courtney Scott: Are you sure this is a good place to meet guys? You can't even have a conversation.
- Hunter Fallow: Who needs to hear them talk if they're cute?
- Marcy Sternfeld: Why should I take advice from you? The longest relationship you ever had was in the bathroom stall at the Viper Room.
- Courtney Scott: There's no way I'm spending more money on my car than my parent's spend on their house.
- Hunter Fallow: I bet they're not making Dawson's Creek go supernatural for Halloween.
- Quentin King: Oh, they are... Dawson's going to hell to save Joey's soul.
- Dave: Did you like the movie?
- Hunter Fallow: Well besides the fact that Winona Ryder has my career, it wasn't so bad.
- Johnny Bishop: He says he's going to start a whole gay chapter for Johnny Bishop. Just look what they've done for Keanu Reeves.
- Dave: Why are you so irritable?
- Hunter Fallow: You try playing
- [preppy voice]
- Hunter Fallow: *Becky* every day.
- Hunter Fallow: I wouldn't go around here bragging about how much time you spend on these scripts, cause guess what? They suck.
- Johnny Bishop: Hunter! Hunter!
- [runs up to her]
- Hunter Fallow: Bite me.
- Johnny Bishop: I talked to my brother, he says he's going to fix the game.
- [pause]
- Johnny Bishop: Come on, it was a mistake!
- Hunter Fallow: Vietnam was a mistake. Zoe, Jack, Duncan, and Jane was a mistake. Having a pinball drop out of my ass is not a mistake.
- Quentin King: Some fresh meat will be nice after that dried up beef jerky that calls herself Hunter.
- Marcy Sternfeld: I'm in love. Hunter now I finally understand how you met Trent Reznor and got engaged within 24 hours.
- Hunter Fallow: Yeah, but he went platinum... twice.
- Marcy Sternfeld: I'm so depressed. I need to buy shoes.
- Hunter Fallow: Oh, you need to buy something but they don't sell it at a shoe store.
- Marcy Sternfeld: I should try yelling at people more often.
- Hunter Fallow: You think this is good, try having an orgasm.
- Johnny Bishop: Hey, check out how golden and downy these hairs are getting around my navel.
- Kevin: [Johnny pulls up his vest and Kevin becomes uncomfortable] Wow.
- Johnny Bishop: They're kind of soft like chest hair, but sexy like pubic hairs
- Kevin: Yeah.
- Johnny Bishop: Hey, what do you call this anyway?
- Kevin: I don't know. Like, chesty-pubey-tummy hair?
- Johnny Bishop: Yeah.