Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000–2024)

Susie Essman: Susie Greene

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Larry : Nice house.

  Susie : Yeah, come on. I'll give you a tour.

  Larry : Naw, it's ok.

  Susie : No, come on.

  Larry : No, it's ok. I-I get it.

  Susie : You get it?

  Larry : Yeah, it's a house. It's new. I get it. It's nice.

  Susie : You get it? Ok, you know what? Get the fuck out of my house, Larry.

• Susie Greene : You four-eyed fuck.

• Restaraunt Chef : [Larry hires a chef who has Tourette's Syndrome]  Fuckhead shitface cocksucker asshole son of a bitch!

  [the restaurant suddenly turns silent] 

  Larry David : [Remembering seeing some high school students support a kid with cancer]  Maybe one day I'll get a chance to do something good for somebody like that.

  Larry David : [Aloud]  Scum-sucking motherfucking whore!

  Jeff Greene : Cock! Cock! Jism! Grandma! Cock!

  Michael York : Bum! Fuck, turd, fart... cunt, piss, shit, bugger and balls!

  Restaurant Manager : Dammit... hell... crap... ssssssshit!

  Cheryl : Ya goddamn motherfuckin' bitch!

  Susie Greene : [Thinking Cheryl is yelling at her]  Fuck you, you car wash cunt! I HAD A DENTAL APPOINTMENT!

  Cheryl's Dad : Fellatio, cunnilingus, french kissing! Rimjob.

  Richard Lewis : Pussy pig fucker!

  Jeff Greene's Dad : Boy cock, girl cock, E-I-E-I-O!

  [Everyone in the restaurant is now laughing hysterically] 

• Susie Greene : [shows Larry a gawdy, sequined shirt she has made]  Now, is this cute? I mean how much fun is this? Huh? Great, right?

  Larry : You know, it's nice.

  Susie Greene : Yeah.

  Larry : Not quite my cup of tea, but... y'know, uh, it's nice.

  Susie Greene : All right, you know what? Fuck you... and fuck your tea.

• Cheryl : Okay, you know what? I think my friend Julie was just saying that the Beverly Park Country Club might be taking new members.

  Susie Greene : Ah, eh...

  Larry : It's... pretty.

  Cheryl : I think they're taking new members, and it's a beautiful country club...

  Susie Greene : All right, look, I don't want to offend you, but there's like three fuckin' Jews in the whole club, okay? It's not for us. It's WASP, WASP, Republican city...

  Cheryl : Okay, you know what? I fit in with you guys all the time, for years I've been going to your thing, so...

  Larry : How am I even gonna get by in the interview?

  Susie Greene : [points at Larry]  This one would stick out like a sore fuckin' thumb, this Jewface over here.

  Larry : Oh, I'm more of a Jewface than *you*?

  Susie Greene : Hey, fuck you, Larry, okay? I didn't get us into this predicament!

  Larry : I'm much more gentiley than you are!

• Susie Greene : [Larry steals the head of a doll from Jeff's daughter's collection]  You fat fuck! And you bald piece of shit! Where's the fucking head?

• [repeated line] 

  Susie Greene : Get the fuck out of my house, Larry!

• Susie Greene : [Repeated line]  What the fuck, Larry?

• Susie Greene : [about Jeff]  He *violates* me, Larry! He defiles me!