Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000–2024)

Barry Gordon: Rabbi

Quotes 

• [Larry notices a picture on his rabbi's desk] 

  Larry : Is that you?

  Rabbi : That's... that's Eddie Solomon. My brother-in-law. He, ummm... he died on September 11th.

  Larry : Oh my gosh. Oh, I'm so sorry.

  Rabbi : Yeah. Terrible.

  Larry : He was in the building?

  Rabbi : No, no. He, he was... uptown on 57th Street. He got hit by a bike messenger.

  Larry : Uptown?

  Rabbi : Yeah, yeah. Bike messenger. Hit 'em.

  Larry : [Long pause]  What a shame.

• [Larry has just offended a rabbi] 

  Nat David : He doesn't know what he's doing.

  Cheryl's Mom : He really doesn't.

  Cheryl : No, he's...

  Larry : What do they say in The Bible? "He knows not... whereof he... "

  Rabbi : Don't try, don't try to quote The Bible.

  Larry : "... he speaks not?... "

  Rabbi : Just, just don't try...

  Larry : "... forked tongue?... He knows not whereof he... whence he speaks?... "

  Cheryl's Mom : Okay!

  Nat David : Larry... if you could be quiet.

• Larry : Alright, let's roll!

  Rabbi : What? "Let's roll"? What did you say?

  Larry : What?

  Rabbi : You knew my brother-in-law died on September 11th! How dare you say something like that!

  Larry : With all due respect, wasn't that just a coincidence?

  Rabbi : Oh, what the...

  Larry : Alright, poor choice of words...

  Rabbi : What the hell kind of a...

  Larry : Alright, that's long gone...

  Rabbi : You know, I don't wanna do this. Forget it. Forget it.

  Larry : Oh, I didn't know, I didn't know that if you, that if you, you died UPTOWN on 9/11 that it was, that it was part of it, uh... the tragedy.

• [Larry and Cheryl - and their parents - are talking to the rabbi about renewing their vows] 

  Rabbi : Right, so then uh, I'll, uh... do the blessing, uh, the last blessing, just a little bit of Hebrew, and then I will put the glass on the floor, and we'll step on it, and that'll be it.

  Cheryl's Dad : That's when everybody yells "a matzoh toff"?

  Rabbi : No no, it's "mazeltov". It means good luck.

  Cheryl's Dad : Could we say "yippee!" or something?

  Cheryl's Mom : Or "good luck" or something?

  Cheryl's Dad : "Hallelujah" would be good.