Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000–2024)

Cheryl Hines: Cheryl David, Cheryl

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Cheryl : [Larry discusses becoming a restaurant host]  I thought you didn't like talking to people.

  Larry David : I don't like talking to... to people I KNOW, but strangers, I have no problem with.

• [Cheryl is reading a draft of her renewed wedding vows to Larry] 

  Cheryl : "We'll love each other throughout this lifetime, but after death through all eternity."

  Larry : You mean this is... this is continuing into the afterlife?

  Cheryl : Yeah, that's the idea. Do you have a problem with that?

  Larry : Well, I... I thought this was over at death. I didn't know we went into eternity together. Isn't that what it said in... "'til death do us part, " I thought it was...

  Cheryl : Do you have a problem with eternity?

  Larry : Well...

  Cheryl : We finally found each other, Larry, and we're celebrating this for all eternity.

  Larry : I guess I had a different plan for eternity. I thought... I thought I'd be single again.

• Restaraunt Chef : [Larry hires a chef who has Tourette's Syndrome]  Fuckhead shitface cocksucker asshole son of a bitch!

  [the restaurant suddenly turns silent] 

  Larry David : [Remembering seeing some high school students support a kid with cancer]  Maybe one day I'll get a chance to do something good for somebody like that.

  Larry David : [Aloud]  Scum-sucking motherfucking whore!

  Jeff Greene : Cock! Cock! Jism! Grandma! Cock!

  Michael York : Bum! Fuck, turd, fart... cunt, piss, shit, bugger and balls!

  Restaurant Manager : Dammit... hell... crap... ssssssshit!

  Cheryl : Ya goddamn motherfuckin' bitch!

  Susie Greene : [Thinking Cheryl is yelling at her]  Fuck you, you car wash cunt! I HAD A DENTAL APPOINTMENT!

  Cheryl's Dad : Fellatio, cunnilingus, french kissing! Rimjob.

  Richard Lewis : Pussy pig fucker!

  Jeff Greene's Dad : Boy cock, girl cock, E-I-E-I-O!

  [Everyone in the restaurant is now laughing hysterically] 

• [after leaving a terrible dinner party] 

  Larry : What's the level of anger here? What am I dealing with?

  Cheryl : Well, I'd have to say at least an 8.7.

  Larry : 8.7? That's not that bad. I thought it would be at least a 9.

  Cheryl : It was a 9. Then you broke that lamp, and the crazy woman screamed at you, and it got you some pity points.

  Larry : Pity points. That's fabulous, I love pity points. But how can I get to a 7? I know a 6 is out of the question, but is there any way I can get to a 7?

• Larry : You don't work. You're unemployed.

  Cheryl : Loving you is my job, Larry.

• Cheryl : Okay, you know what? I think my friend Julie was just saying that the Beverly Park Country Club might be taking new members.

  Susie Greene : Ah, eh...

  Larry : It's... pretty.

  Cheryl : I think they're taking new members, and it's a beautiful country club...

  Susie Greene : All right, look, I don't want to offend you, but there's like three fuckin' Jews in the whole club, okay? It's not for us. It's WASP, WASP, Republican city...

  Cheryl : Okay, you know what? I fit in with you guys all the time, for years I've been going to your thing, so...

  Larry : How am I even gonna get by in the interview?

  Susie Greene : [points at Larry]  This one would stick out like a sore fuckin' thumb, this Jewface over here.

  Larry : Oh, I'm more of a Jewface than *you*?

  Susie Greene : Hey, fuck you, Larry, okay? I didn't get us into this predicament!

  Larry : I'm much more gentiley than you are!

• [repeated line] 

  Cheryl : Why would you do that?

• Cheryl : Actually, this weekend is the big NRDC benefit we've been working on for months, Alanis Morisette is going to be there...

  Wanda : Why don't we just call the terrorists and ask them to pick a weekend more suitable for you?

• [Larry has just offended a rabbi] 

  Nat David : He doesn't know what he's doing.

  Cheryl's Mom : He really doesn't.

  Cheryl : No, he's...

  Larry : What do they say in The Bible? "He knows not... whereof he... "

  Rabbi : Don't try, don't try to quote The Bible.

  Larry : "... he speaks not?... "

  Rabbi : Just, just don't try...

  Larry : "... forked tongue?... He knows not whereof he... whence he speaks?... "

  Cheryl's Mom : Okay!

  Nat David : Larry... if you could be quiet.

• Cheryl : Hi, Wandering Bear.

  Wandering Bear : Hello. How is... your vagina?

  Cheryl : It's... getting better.

  Wandering Bear : Good!

• Larry David : Have you ever played telephone before? You don't even know how to play telephone, do you?

  Cheryl : I *do* know how to play telephone.

  Larry David : Oh, do you?

  Cheryl : Yeah, but I usually play the "G" version. It's usually something like, "Susie lives down the lane."

  Larry David : The kid didn't say "Susie lives down the lane," he said "I love tits!"

• [Larry receives flowers from a doctor he promised to give 5, 000 dollars to] 

  Cheryl : Are those from your mistress and you just haven't told me?

  Larry : I wish.

  [He gives the flower guy a tip] 

  Cheryl : Did you give him a five thousand dollar tip?

• Larry : We're going to put sweet potatoes on the menu... because you can't find sweet potatoes anywhere else, have you noticed that.

  Cheryl : Oh, everyone's noticed that.