Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (2002)

Maggie Smith: Caro

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sidda : [about Vivi]  I am sick of fighting! And, I am sick to death of this whole center of the universe, holier than thou, nothing is ever enough. Oh, how I've suffered, nobody understands me. Somebody fix me a drink and hand me a Nebutol, worn out Scarlett O'Hara... thang!

  Caro : Well, she's got her pegged, all right.

• Caro : The only disease that can survive in our bloodstreams is alcoholism.

• Teensy : We'll leave you alone.

  Caro : But we'll be listening from the kitchen, so talk loud.

• Sidda : [about Connor]  Don't you think it's fishy that we're not married yet? I mean, he started asking me the first year and I always resisted, don't you think that's fishy?

  Teensy : [defensive]  Why is that fishy?

  Sidda : Because! Something must be wrong. I've been hitting the snooze button on my biological clock for a long time. I mean, on paper it all works out, you saw him, who wouldn't wanna have babies with him? But every time I get right down to it, something just stops me, it just stops.

  Caro : And you don't have any idea why?

  Sidda : Oh, I have an idea why. What if I'm like her, and I get into it and just...

  Caro : [curiously]  What?

  Sidda : Beat the living daylights out of everybody and then run away!

  Teensy : [surprised]  That's what you think happened?

  Sidda : [angrily]  What do mean, "think", Teensy? I was there. This isn't some goddamn recovered memory, I wish I could forget it! You all have your little Ya Ya scars but that is nothing compared to what she left on me, and all I'm saying is if there's even one drop of that in me, I am better off alone! No child should have to find that out the hard way, and neither should Connor!

  Sidda : [tearfully]  You know fine, she didn't want us? Fine! She should have just stayed gone. But then y'all dragged her ass back here again and all she did was drink until we all went away!

  Sidda : [Angrily]  I mean Y'all should know, since you were the ones mixing the drinks!

  [storms off] 

  Necie Rose Kelleher : My God, she doesn't know anything, does she?

• Caro : Get comfortable, bébé. I've got a full tank.

• Teensy : I can't tell if that's a scar or a wrinkle.

  Caro : Yeah, that's a wrinkle pal. There's some scars behind your ears though.

  Teensy : Shut up, Caro.

• Necie Rose Kelleher : I wish you could've known your momma back then, you would've loved her.

  Sidda : Necie, me not loving momma was never the problem.

  Caro : Her not loving you was never the problem either.

• [Sidda is silent] 

  Caro : Speak, bébé.

  Sidda : I'm just adding up the thousands of dollars I've spent on therapy trying to figure out what the hell I did wrong.

  Caro : [to Sidda's father]  Shep? Write her a check.

• Caro : Listen, kids, we gotta slow down or I'm gonna pop a lung.

• Caro : [standing in the doorway of Sidda's room]  Ya know, I just don't understand those underwears up your ass crack, they don't cover up a G'D THANG!

• Caro : [about Vivi's breakdown]  She didn't leave you, Sidda.

  Sidda : Yeah, well, she was sure as hell gone.

  Caro : She sure as hell was.

• Caro : Why doesn't somebody go to the bathroom? It always makes the food come.

• Caro : What I'd give to know then what I know now. And to still have those thighs!

  Necie Rose Kelleher : I'm sure they're still buried in there somewhere.

• Connor : [on the phone with Sidda]  Hi.

  Sidda : How did you know it was me?

  Connor : Who else? How are you feeling?

  Sidda : A little disoriented.

  Connor : Well, horse tranquilizers will do that for you.

  Sidda : I can't believe you let them do this.

  Connor : They didn't ask my permission. They called me on the way to the airport, they informed me of their plan. I saw you off.

  Sidda : From where?

  Connor : I met you at the airport, helped them get you on the plane. They're organized. They even had a note from a doctor. By the way, your pills are in your bag.

  Sidda : [to Ya Yas]  I have a bag?

  Caro : Yeah, in the closet. Tell Connor we say hello.

  Connor : [Sidda asks Connor if he heard them]  Yeah. I'll tell you one thing, meeting them explains a lot about you.

  Sidda : Such as?

  Connor : Well, let me put it this way. You're a hell of a lot more normal than you've any right to be.

  Sidda : Listen, I'm gonna try and bust out of here tomorrow. I gotta get back for work.

  Connor : Don't rush back on my account.

  Sidda : I just said it was for work.

  Connor : And I just meant maybe you ought to try to stay and fix this thing with your mother for once and for all.

  Sidda : Why are you so worried about this?

  Connor : Because I'm afraid that one day our kids may feel that way about you.

  Sidda : Ow.

  Connor : These women may be nuts, but I have a feeling they might know something that you don't.

  Sidda : I don't think it's fair that you're bringing kids we don't even have into this, Connor, okay? That was just a really low blow.

  Connor : Well, that's the way I feel. Stay there. Deal with it.

  Sidda : [hangs up]  YOU deal with it.

• Caro : You were perfectly clear. And perfectly wrong.

• Teensy : [seeing Caro pull a pill from her purse and begin grinding it up to put into Sidda's drink]  Wait, what is it?

  Caro : I got it from one of the caddies at the club. It's a roopie or a roofie or something. He said it would knock her on her ass!

  Teensy : No! Roofies! That's the date rape drug! We can't do that!

  Necie Rose Kelleher : She's practically a teetotaler with these skinny little drinks!

  Caro : Then what? We can't conk her on the head!

  Teensy : Well, give her half. She's a Walker, she can take it.

• Teensy : [Looking at her hand]  Is that it? I can't tell if that's a scar or a wrinkle?

  Caro : Yeah, that's a wrinkle. There's some scars behind your ears though.