Daria in 'Is It College Yet?' (2002 TV Movie)

Tracy Grandstaff: Daria Morgendorffer

Quotes 

• [Daria accepts an academic award at graduation] 

  Daria Morgendorffer : Um, thank you. I'm not much for public speaking. Or much for speaking. Or, come to think of it, much for the public. And I'm not very good at lying. So let me just say that, in my experience, high school sucks. If I had to do it all over again, I'd have started advanced placement classes in preschool so I could go from eighth grade straight to college. However, given the unalterable fact that high school sucks, I'd like to add that if you're lucky enough to have a good friend and a family that cares it doesn't have to suck quite as much. Otherwise my advice is; Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless experience proves you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor *is* naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza. Thank you.

• [last lines] 

  Jane Lane : To college! I can't wait! What do you think we'll find when we get there?

  Daria Morgendorffer : Hmm... That the students are shockingly ignorant, the professors self-centered and corrupt, and the entire system geared soley to the pursuit of funding?

  Jane Lane : Hmmm, yes. You know that thing I said about you getting soft?

  Daria Morgendorffer : Yeah?

  Jane Lane : I take it back.

• [Daria and Jane discuss their college plans at Pizza King] 

  Jane Lane : What about you? Still thinking about

  [in snooty voice] 

  Jane Lane : Bromwell?

  Daria Morgendorffer : They don't really talk like that... I hope. Anyway, I'm applying because it's an outstanding university, not because the students engage in the rectal transport of steel rods.

  Jane Lane : The Equestrian Club must be in constant pain.

• Daria Morgendorffer : What are you saying? That I got into Raft because they *didn't* meet me? Screw you!

• Jane Lane : You're getting soft around the edges, Morgendorffer.

  Daria Morgendorffer : Maybe, or maybe you've got glaucoma.

• Jane Lane : [about Tom]  He said he looked up to you?

  Daria Morgendorffer : Isn't that weird? Flattering, but weird.

  Jane Lane : No... I guess I could see where people would value your opinion and take what you say very seriously.

  Daria Morgendorffer : Really? Where can I meet these people?

  Jane Lane : Well, I kind of take what you say seriously.

  Daria Morgendorffer : What's in that cup?

  Jane Lane : That's why, after your constant haranguing and brow-beating, I went ahead and sent my portfolio to BFAC... and got in.

  Daria Morgendorffer : [smiles]  Jane Lane! What did you say?

  Jane Lane : You. Me. College. Same town. Be ready to have your ass dragged to more parties.

• Jane Lane : Behold, Daria. The group dynamic you crave so much.

  Daria Morgendorffer : I suppose pulling out a can of mace right now would be considered bad form.

• [Tom has come to visit Daria after they've broken up] 

  Daria Morgendorffer : I'm not getting into that car. That's how all this trouble started in the first place.

  Tom Sloane : Trouble? Is that how you think of our relationship?

  Daria Morgendorffer : I'm just kidding. What's up?