Old School (2003)
Vince Vaughn: Beanie
Photos
Quotes
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Mitch : I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.
Beanie : Why in front of the kid? With the F-ing? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him. "Earmuffs". Then you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch", whatever you want.
Frank : Cock. Balls.
Beanie : I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.
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Mitch : Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard : Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie : Who's this guy?
Mitch : Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard : Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie : Oh, yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard : Yea, I got out.
Beanie : Cool man. Good. Glad you did.
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Beanie : Yeah, that's it. I got a student alt rock band coming on next. Mitch, I own six speaker cities. I am worth three-and-a-half-million dollars that the government knows about. I got more electronics up there than a damn KISS concert. Tou think I'm gonna roll out this type of red carpet for a fucking marching band? Just make sure you can see the stage.
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Beanie : Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die.
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Beanie : [after finding out that it's in the bylaw that the only way to keep the fraternity is take a course of tests but Beanie does not want to do it] Who'se lives are ruined?
Mitch Martin : Well, see. Blue's dead. Frank's divorced. I lost my house. Nicole thinks I'm a total jackass. And now we got nine kids who are gonna get expelled from school, and you're not even gonna help them.
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Beanie : Because this is a very big idea, my friends. We're talking about a non-exclusive egalitarian brotherhood where community status and, more importantly, age have bearing whatsoever.
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Beanie : I'd like to welcome you all to the Mitch Martin Freedom Festival. Now for those of you who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he's the very successful, very disease-free gentleman standing by the mini-bar. Now, courtesy of Speaker City, which is slashing prices on everything from beepers to DVD players, give a warm welcome Harrison welcome to my pal and your favorite, Snoop Dogg.
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Beanie : Spanish, what the hell are you doing?
Spanish : I'm just going to get some water. This suit is crazy hot, yo.
Beanie : Put your head back on. That can be very traumatic for the kids.
Spanish : You're right, I'm sorry, sir.
Beanie : Don't sorry me, babe. And shake the tail when you walk. You're better than that.
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Beanie : You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hangout with nineteen-year-old girls everyday?
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Beanie : Guys, this is a very special occasion. The Godfather himself has decided to grace us with his presence. This is his damn house. He sleeps twenty feet away.
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Beanie : All right, let me be the first to say congratulations to then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart, Frank. Way to work it through.
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Beanie : Well why don't you give me your number in case anything happens to my wife.
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Mitch Martin : At this point, you may be asking yourself, why am I holding this 30 pound cinderblock in my hands? You might also ask yourself, why does this cinderblock have a long piece of string tied to it? And finally, why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?
Beanie : And the answer, ladies... is trust.
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Beanie : He's playing hardball. And I got to admit. I'm impressed.
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Beanie : Don't say sorry to me. You let down Frank. You let down me. Most importantly, you let down Max. And right about now I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why I take time out of my schedule to help you get over...
[to Max]
Beanie : Max, can you earmuff it for me?
[to Mitch]
Beanie : That whore you dated.
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Beanie : I have a wife and kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frank?
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Frank : Hey, I just want to thank you one last time for being here. It's the best day ever.
Beanie : Don't even start with me, Franklin, okay? You need to walk away from this ASAP.
Frank : What?
Beanie : You need to get out, Frankie. This is it. It's now or never. You need to get out of here while you're still single.
Frank : I'm not single.
Beanie : She's 30 yards away, you're single now.
Frank : Come on, Marissa's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Beanie : Why don't you give that six months. You don't think that'll change? I got a wife, kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie?
Beanie : There's my wife. See that? Always smiling? Hi, honey. Judging, watching, "Look at the baby."
Mitch Martin : She's coming down the aisle, Beanie. Let it go.
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Beanie : Max, can you earmuff for me? We are going to get so much ass here, it's going to be sick. I'm talking like crazy boy band ass.
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Beanie : Six weeks ago Abdul here had a one-way ticket to an arranged marriage with a broad he never met in Bangladesh. Now he's crushing ass every Thursday night at our mixers.
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Beanie : Earmuffs.
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Mitch : So what are you? Campus security?
Dean Pritchard : Try again.
Beanie : Jevohah Witness?
Dean Pritchard : I'm the Dean. Dean Pritchard.
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Beanie : That party that we had last night has given us a lot of street cred.
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Beanie : Good luck to everybody. Nice to know you all and I'll see you around campus.
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Beanie : Mitch is a lawyer, buddy. He'll find a way out for us.
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Beanie : You're the lady, Marissa. High five.
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Jerry : What sort of actual association will you have with the university?
Mitch Martin : Who are these people?
Frank : I don't know.
Beanie : Well, legally speaking, there will be a loose affiliation. But, we will give nothing back to the academic community. As well as provide no public service of any kind. This much I promise you.
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Beanie : What we need to do is throw a big kick-off, kick-ass party.
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[deleted scene]
Beanie : Can you do me a favor and tell Mitch it's perfectly okay to have sex with a 17-year-old?
Lara Campbell : Oh, yeah. It's fine, if you're 18 or you live in Louisiana.
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Mitch : Beanie, you remember, Cheese.
Beanie : Oh, yeah. Cheeeeese... Didn't we lock you in the dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard : [aggitated] I got out.
Beanie : Cool, man.
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Beanie : [to Frank's father in law] It takes a man to give away an angel. You're sweet.
[wink]
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Beanie : I know a really good sand guy.
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Beanie : Frank here was staring at a white picket fence. Now he's single, he's broke, and has second-degree burns all over his body. And I see a spark in his eye that I haven't seen in fifteen years.
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Beanie : What about Mitch here? He saw the wheels come off his life, guys. His whole world crumbled. Now he's the Godfather.
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Beanie : No. That's a piece of crap. We stopped selling that six months ago. Nice gesture, though.