Scary Movie 3 (2003)

Leslie Nielsen: President Harris

Photos 

Quotes 

• President Harris : These men died for their country. Send flowers to their bitches and hos.

• President Harris : Get me the President.

  John Wilson : You are the President.

  President Harris : Good. Then I already know about this. Let's order lunch.

• John Wilson : Sir, I think you should go on the tv and tell everyone there is no such things as UFO's.

  President Harris : Don't spell in front of me damn it.

• President Harris : You're excited? You should feel my nipples.

• U-God : You stepped on my shoe, bitch!

  Redman : Man, call me a bitch again and I'll park your truck... dead in yo ass!

  Macy Gray : DAMN, HOMEY!

  CJ : [to the rappers]  Hey yo, they comin! Over here!

  RZA : If I was you, son, I'd bust this shit right now!

  Method Man : Yo Momma!

  U-God : I got your number too, homey.

  Master P : He ain't gonna bust nuthin. I got nuts bigger than him.

  RZA : Oh, yeah? I'll roll up on you too... you country ass maple syrup biscuit eatin' nigga!

  Master P : Ya'll want some biscuits? You want some biscuits?

  [a shootout happens between all the gangster rappers; Macy Gray fires a rocket launcher killing all of them and herself] 

  Tom : I cannot believe what just happened!

  President Harris : These men all died for their country. Send flowers to their bitches and hos.

• [President Harris grabs a kid with braces] 

  President Harris : Good God, the small ones have metal teeth! Jerry's Kids, my ass.

  [headbutts the kid] 

• President Harris : I just want to tell you both good luck, we're all counting on you.

• [flying saucers appear in the sky] 

  President Harris : Ah, good. The Air Force is here with those new round planes.

  Secret Serviceman Jones : We don't have round planes, sir.

• President Harris : [Agent Thompson is listening to his earphone]  What is it?

  Agent Thompson : It's some old Tupac, sir.

  President Harris : [Listening to the earphone]  "All eyez on me." Hey, this shit is bangin'.

• Mahalik : [to the Aliens]  So, if they're friendly, then how come they choke us a few minutes ago?

  Alien #1 : Oh, that's how we say hello.

  George : Then how do you say good-bye?

  [the Alien kicks him in the crotch] 

  George : Oooh... I had to ask...

  Alien #1 : If you think that's unusual, then you should see how we pee.

  [he starts peeing out of his finger] 

  President Harris : Oooooh, we are not so much different after all...

  [the President starts peeing out of his finger also] 

• President Harris : [looks at portrait of Harrison Ford]  I wonder what President Ford would have done.

• George : Family, that's just what I've been running away from

  President Harris : Well, that's because you're an idiot.

• Agent Thompson : Sir! Step away from the window!

  President Harris : [looks down]  What? Did I forget to put my pants on again?