The O.C. (2003–2007)

Kelly Rowan: Kirsten Cohen

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Kirsten : He's a consultant.

  Sandy : Could you be please be a little more vague?

  Kirsten : He knows people.

  Sandy : You did it! That was more vague.

• Sandy : What are we fighting about?

  Kirsten : I don't know, but it's serious!

• Kirsten : Is everything okay?

  Seth : Hmm? Yeah, it's fine.

  Theresa : I'm pregnant.

  Seth : Well, except for that.

• Julie : Can I ask you a question?

  Kirsten : Mmhmm.

  Julie : Do you like that he calls you Kiki?

  Kirsten : Hate it.

  Julie : 'Cause he kept calling me Juju, like that candy that gets stuck in your teeth. I begged him to stop.

• Kirsten : Oh, someone, please stop him before he starts singing "Greased Lightning."

  Seth : Do it, dad. Travolta's your bitch.

  Sandy : Oh, thank you, son.

• Kirsten : [on the phone with wedding planner]  Colored lights, no way. White lights only because colored lights remind my father of a carnival. And he hates carnies.

  Sandy : Note to self: hang with carnies.

• Seth : Yeah, it's too bad you're leaving. We never eat like this.

  Kirsten : That's not true. I cook all the time.

  Seth : [scoffs]  Dad...

  Sandy : I'm sorry, honey.

  [starts laughing] 

  Kirsten : Let's just eat.

  Sandy : We're not saying we want you to cook more.

  Seth : Oh...

  [blows raspberry] 

  Seth : Hell, no. You remember the meat loaf incident of '98?

  Kirsten : That was brisket.

  Seth : Yeah, that's my point exactly.

• Seth , Kirsten : Oy humbug!

• Kirsten : It would be nice if Uncle Sean could be here.

  Sandy : Not if we have to pay for the bar tab.

• Sandy : And you know, they do find foster home for kids your age.

  Seth : Yeah, because everyone wants a brand new teenager.

  [everyone stares at him] 

  Seth : I'm sorry if I'm the only one here that will state the obvious...

  Kirsten : Seth.

  Seth : - But we have all this extra room, right? We have a pool house. Yet, you guys are going to ship him off to a group home. Am I the only one who gets how much that sucks?

• Kirsten : [frowns]  Why is that ninja smoking a cigarette?

  Sandy : Honey honey, I don't actually think that's a ninja, ninjas usually wear capes, right?

  Kirsten : oooh so a ninja is like a super hero

  Seth : [had enough]  mom, dad, you two enjoy

  [gets up] 

  Seth : Ryan

  [steps over Sandy's legs] 

  Seth : give me five minutes

  Sandy : Where you goin?

  [Ryan smiles] 

  Sandy : come on back

  Ryan : Nice work

  [Kirsten smiles, pleased] 

  Sandy : Never underestimate a parent's ability to mortify his child

• Seth : Mom, on the other hand, Waspy McWasp.

  Sandy : We're so proud.

  Kirsten : I am not a Wasp!

  Seth : Sure you're not.

• Kirsten : Sometimes you make it hard to hate you.

  Sandy : I know, it's part of my charm.

  Kirsten : And sometimes you make it easy.

• Kirsten : My dad is marrying Julie Cooper. Julie Cooper... is my step-mom.

  Jimmy : Maybe we'll get you another bottle.

  Sandy : Yeah, drink up.

  Kirsten : This is an unholy alliance. This is two storm fronts colliding. This is the apocalypse for us all.

• Sandy : If all we're gunna do is send them to their room and make them do homework, what are they going to learn?

  Kirsten : Their homework.

• Sandy : Nobody needs to know, we can say you're taking a trip.

  Kirsten : In this town a trip is always rehab.

• Kirsten : Julie, are you okay?

  Julie : Duh! I don't need any steak knives! Do you want some coffee cake?

• Sandy : We suck.

  Kirsten : That was not very smooth.

  Sandy : I told you this was a bad idea.

  Kirsten : No, you didn't!

  Seth : I don't wanna know. Don't care.

• Kirsten : Julie, I am not going to a place called The Petting Zoo. You don't know where the pets have been.

• Kirsten : Is it over?

  Sandy : I promise you, it never started.

• Sandy : Well, you've been tryin'a get him to come to Thanksgiving for years.

  Kirsten : The only reason why he is here is because his food didn't show up and the game is on.

  [drinks] 

  Sandy : You know, you might wanna slow down with that. You're drinkin on an empty stomach.

  Kirsten : Don't you tell me to slow down. Tell him to hit the bricks!

  Sandy : Hit the bricks? Who talks like that?

  Kirsten : Don't you judge me. I have a family that won't let me cook for Thanksgiving dinner, I have a father who is using me for my candied yams, and we are out of Merlot!

  Anna : Do you want some... privacy?

  Sandy : Oh...