- Wendy Pleakley: I've researched winter Earth holidays like Kwanzaa, Christmas, Chanukah, and the year-end clearance sale at Mendelton's department store.
- Lilo: I don't think that last one's a holiday.
- Wendy Pleakley: If 50% off everything isn't a holiday, sister, I don't know what is!
- Mertle Edmonds: [about Cannonball] Why's he got such a big caboose?
- Lilo: Highly contagious butt rabies.
- [Girls scatter]
- Pleakley: Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you... unless they are carved into stone and thrown at you.
- [shopping for a Christmas present]
- Nani: Hi, I'm looking for something like a shrunken head...
- Store Clerk: Sorry, shrunken heads aren't part of Hawaii's cultural heritage. Try South America.
- [after waking up]
- Gantu: You LASERED my PATOOKI?
- Experiment 625: Ah, I just thought it could use a makeover. Actually, it's an amazing likeness of, ah, moi. You wanna see?
- [after blasting into a building and frightening a crowd of people]
- Gantu: People of Earth! Do not be alarmed! I am just looking for an abomination!
- [after finding sandwiches stored in his experiment containment unit]
- Gantu: SANDWICHES? Oh, when I get back, 625 is fin... hmm, bacon and raisin! Just like "Mu-mu" used to make!
- Hämsterviel: Well? Where is my big bug?
- Gantu: I'm afraid the little girl and the abomination...
- Hämsterviel: AGAIN? You, with your stomping feet and shooting blasters, cannot get ONE experiment FROM A LITTLE GIRL? Tell me how lame you are! TELL ME!
- 625: Oh, there's no right answer to that. I'd put it around the "S"s, between "shockingly lame" and "stunningly lame".
- Lilo: Every year, Nani hides our Christmas presents. It's my job as a little sister to find them. It's another Hawaiian Christmas tradition!
- Pleakley: So you claim to have been sleeping the whole time. Nice alibi. By the way, I'm being sarcastic.
- Nani: Starving yourself won't bring him back, Lilo.
- Lilo: But If I show up at the tea party tomorrow without Mr. Stenchy, they won't be my friends anymore.
- Nani: Lilo, if they only liked you because you had a cute pet, then who needs them? You have to trust your real friends.
- Lilo: Who would that be?
- Nani: Stitch, for one. He's a royal pain, but he's loyal, and he'd never ever ever do anything that would hurt you. Thats a true friend.
- Lilo: I know, Stitch is the best. I wouldn't trade him for anything or anybody.
- Nani: All the mail seems to be for you Pleakley. They are all bills!
- Pleakley: Bills? What are bills?
- Nani: Bills are what you owe when you charge on your 28 credit cards!
- Pleakley: Owe? As in... money?
- [Pleakley opens an envelope]
- Pleakley: Oh my gosh! Is this a balance due or an intergalatic zip code! How could they do this to me? I'm not even a citizen!
- Lilo: I hope our new planet will have this many stars. And a beach with rockin' waves. And fish that eat peanut butter sandwiches.
- Woman: Is the hotel melting?
- Man: They'd better give us a discount!
- Jumba: What are you doing here?
- Future Jumba: I have come to give you warning. Whatever you do, do not build robot wife. Is too easy for them to hack into bank account.
- Nosy: Ratface!
- Hämsterviel: What?
- Nosy: Hamsterjerk!
- Hämsterviel: What?
- Nosy: Kiesterviel!
- Hämsterviel: WHAT?
- Nosy: You want I should repeat them?