Romance & Cigarettes (2005)

Steve Buscemi: Angelo

Quotes 

• Nick Murder : Are you circumcised?

  Angelo : What?

  Nick Murder : Are you circumcised?

  Angelo : Circularized?

  Nick Murder : No, circumcised.

  Angelo : My circulation's fine.

  Nick Murder : No, are you circumcised?

• Nick Murder : Are you circumcised?

  Angelo : Hell, no. That shit hurts. Somebody cuts my dick it better be for vengeance.

• Angelo : I'm not the type of guy who goes up to a woman says, "You want to go out with me? " and then takes his dick out. That's not my style. I'm no beast.

• Angelo : I'd like to fucka woman tennis player. You know, with the outfit on. And a tennis ball stuck in her panties.

• Nick Murder : I'd be better off a fag.

  Angelo : Those guys are in shape. Randolph Scott was a fag.

  Nick Murder : Not Randolph Scott?

  Angelo : Yeah, him and Cary Grant.

  Nick Murder : Get out of here. Not in a million years!

  Angelo : The list is long. There's a lot of great fags.

• Angelo : Oh, you've got it bad, Nick. I told you. I warned you. Chicks smell a boner 10 miles away.

• Nick Murder : She's a redhead.

  Angelo : Au naturel?

  Nick Murder : The whole megillah.

  Angelo : It's rare. They feel more. That's scientifically proven.

  Nick Murder : What?

  Angelo : You take a natural red versus a brunette. Right? And you prod them both with a jolt of electric shock, mild. The carrot-top's gonna need 20% more anesthesia.

  Nick Murder : To numb the pain?

  Angelo : Pain, pleasure, it's all nerve-related! The point is, they *feel* more. Nice as she is, red as her bush is, fuckable as she is, you gotta put the fire out, my friend! Attend to it! Stamp out that Benson & Hedges bitch once and for all.

• Angelo : I'd like to fuck a woman with a backside as big as the world.

• Angelo : It's cleaner. It's cleaner without the foreskin. Most guys in pornos, John Leslie nobody better.

• Nick's Mother : Did I tell you his grandfather tried to have sex with me?

  Angelo : Really?

  Nick's Mother : I'm telling you. Told me my husband was a boy. That he could do things to me that I couldn't imagine.

  Angelo : Sexually?

  Nick's Mother : Well, yeah, sure. He wasn't talking about going to Jersey.

• Angelo : Mrs Murder. Nice to see you. How are you?

  Nick's Mother : Every breath is a victory.

  Nick Murder : Hi ya, Mom.

  Nick's Mother : Don't you, "Hi, Mom" me. I told you. I told you! In the sixth grade, I told you, "Never tell a woman your business. You just do your thing and you keep it to yourself!"

• Angelo : It's no picnic being a guy. Right? It's hard. I mean, if I was a woman I would have been a prostitute. I broke up with Wanda. Her ass was a travesty. There's just some things you can't overlook.