Romance & Cigarettes (2005)

Kate Winslet: Tula

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Tula : [to Nick Murder]  G-strings, push-up bras, teddies, garter belts, crotchless pantyhose. Fuck bloomers. That's what I sell. To rich, tan, bored housewives who take the fat from the ass cheeks and inject it into their lips. You gonna kiss someone's ass then you should know that that's what you're kissing. Personally, I think that kissing's sexier than shagging, but you're sucking on chicken fat there. Not that their husbands mind. You know, they're out buying big homes, buying paintings, going to the fuckin' opera, taking one up the bum for the queen while the misses are out sticking their fannies in my face. "Does my bum look big in this? Can you see my cellulite?" What they need, these women, is a good old-fashioned horse-fuck. They can buy all the new panties they want, but they get stained, don't they? Stained panties are part of life no matter how hard you wipe.

  Tula : I think you're dead sexy. Not at first, then one day I looked up and saw you working with your shirt off and your gut out. That's a man, I said to meself. A real man. Someone to take me down the pub for a pint. You're way too old for me, but I figure you only go around once in life. I got, what, 75 years? Don't get hit by a bus. I want to kiss you, big man. Give you a big sloppy, wet kiss. You won't tell anyone that? Inch by inch the elephant fucked the ant.

• Tula : When a woman bends over, a man sees a jelly doughnut. Her brain expands. His explodes. Dead on arrival in her powdered jelly doughnut.

• Tula : [on the phone]  Oh, Nicky. I want you to put your finger up my asshole right now.

  Nick Murder : Tula.

  Tula : My pussy's lonely, baby.

  Nick Murder : Yeah?

  Tula : Kiss it, nasty man. Come on. Yeah. Give me those balls that clang.

  Nick Murder : Don't talk like that, will you?

  Tula : Well, you know what, Nicky? I cannot talk. I'm just getting fucked by a big, hard, young, circumcised cock.

  Nick Murder : What are you talking about? Are you with somebody else?

  Tula : You're not here. What do you want me to do sit around and touch me self?

  Nick Murder : Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. I do.

• Nick Murder : God. You are one crude broad.

  Tula : Is that what you think of me?

  Nick Murder : I'm not a thinker. No.

• Tula : Tease me, tease me! Hammer me! Slam me! Drill me! You did it for me. For me! Oh! Give me all of that helldog! Pour it into my red-hot oven! Ooh, yeah, does it feel different? Oh, does it feel different? Tease me! Love me! Don't stop! Oh, it's so beautiful! Oh, yeah! It's so beautiful! Oh, yeah! I can't believe - I can't believe you: cut - it - off - for - me! You kill me! Oh! Yeah! Yes! I love it! Go on. Keep going, Nicky! You know you can! You know you can! You used to be an athlete, didn't you? Yeah, I know you did. That's it! Ooh, you filthy bugger! Oh, keep going now. I love it! I love it! Oh, God, yes! Oh, yeah! Like that. It's lovely like that! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

• Tula : You know what? Next time a flag rises - you can knock on me back door. Marlon Brando style.

  Nick Murder : What do you mean, up - up your stovepipe?

  Tula : Yeah. Sure. Why not? Open my safe.

• Tula : This is great chicken. I'd better stop eating it. I'll blow up like a fucking whale. You don't want a fat bird for a girlfriend, do you?

• Kitty Kane : I know your tragedy.

  Tula : What tragedy?

  Kitty Kane : You got a loose one.

  Tula : Loose what?

  Kitty Kane : Pussy.

  Tula : Fuck you! What did you say?

  Kitty Kane : Wide fuckin' shores.

• Kitty Kane : You know, a long time ago women didn't wear underwear if they were well-bred. Only prostitutes wore panties.

  Tula : Right. I didn't know that.

  Kitty Kane : Well, now you know.

  Tula : Right.

• Tula : You fit into me. You know.

  Nick Murder : But I gotta change. I'm a slow learner, but I'm gonna change.

  Tula : You wouldn't be able to say that if I was licking your balls.

  Nick Murder : It'd be hard.

  Tula : Yeah, it'd be hard. It'd be rock hard.

  Nick Murder : Yeah, look, there's more to life than that, Tula. Okay.

  Tula : I let you in. I let you open my apple like a fucking flower in the fucking rain, you fuck!

  Nick Murder : There's more to life than a hard on, okay?

  Tula : No, there's not! It starts there, doesn't it? That's where life starts. Let me suck you before you leave me.