- Cuthbert Gibbons: From now on, Tozzi here is gonna be your new best friend.
- Freshy: But none of my friends look like him.
- Freshy: I'll do anything.
- Gibbons: Okay, let me tell you...
- Freshy: I don't care, I'll do it.
- Mike Tozzi: Shut up so he can tell you.
- Freshy: He doesn't have to tell me. Whatever it is, I'll do it.
- Gibbons and Tozzi: Shut up!
- Stanley: You sleep with them?
- Freshy: With who?
- Stanley: The actresses.
- Freshy: The actresses? Of course not. It's strictly a business relationship.
- Stanley: You can't even get laid by porn actresses? That makes me sad. I don't even like you and that makes me sad.
- Gina: I'd pay a million bucks to live in Jersey.
- Mike: Yeah, well, I'd pay a million bucks to get out of it right now.
- Butters: You know, your partner has some trouble with intimacy. I didn't even hear him say goodbye when he left. Gina regretted giving into him so quickly.
- Gibbons: Thank you, Dr. Ruth.
- Gibbons: (to Mike) You don't get enough chances in real life to be an asshole, you have to be one on the job, too?
- Butters: (after Gibbon snaps at him) He forgets his perscription and it's MY fault?
- [Stanley is checking out a maniquinn in a department store]
- Bells: Stanley, it's wood.
- Stanley: She's got a nice face.
- Gibbons: Call for back up!
- Butters: Oh, yeah. Wait until there's screaming before you call for back up.
- Stanley: Can't you figure out how to use this stuff?
- Gibbons: Yeah, if you hadn't of thrown the guy who knows how to work it off at fifth avenue.