Hitch (I) (2005)

Eva Mendes: Sara

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sara : What should we toast to?

  Hitch : Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.

• Sara : Why don't you go hit a titty bar with your buddy Vance?

  Hitch : Wow. I don't believe this. That's your source?

  Sara : You buried yourself, Alex.

  Hitch : Then you weren't listening.

  Sara : I heard every word. You're a scam artist. You trick women into getting...

  Hitch : Into getting out of their own way, so great guys like Albert Brennaman have a fighting chance!

  [host gestures for him to leave] 

  Hitch : Okay, no, no, no, no. I want everybody to take a good look at this right now. Because this, this right here, this is exactly why falling in love is so goddamn hard!

  Speed Dating Guy : Sir, let's go, now.

  Hitch : And Vance Munson is a pig! And I refused to work with him. You need to get your facts right. It's because of jerks like him that I even have a job... *had* a job!

  [walks away] 

  Sara : Can you believe that guy?

  Casey Sedgewick : Actually... I do.

  Sara : [dejectedly]  Me, too.

• Sara : So, you kinda like me, huh?

  Hitch : No. I love you.

• Hitch : Do you know the definition of perseverance, Miss Melas?

  Sara : An excuse to be obnoxious?

  Hitch : Continuing a course of action without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure, over.

• Hitch : Now, on the one hand, it is very difficult for a man to even speak to someone who looks like you. But, on the other hand, should that be your problem?

  Sara : So life's kind of hard all around.

  Hitch : Not if you pay attention. I mean, you're sending all the right signals - no earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back, you're wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini, which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. And if that wasn't clear enough, there's always the "fuck off" sign that you have stamped on your forehead.

• Max : Spoken like a true cynic.

  Sara : I'm not a cynic, I'm a realist!

  Max : Or a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist.

• Sara : }: If he's stupid enough to cheat, the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught.

• Chip : I noticed your glass was getting a little low so I took the liberty of bringing you another apple martini.

  Sara : [bemused]  Thank you.

  Chip : And I couldn't help but notice... you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

  Sara : What's your name?

  Chip : They call me Chip.

  Sara : Aww, you can't get them to stop?

  Chip : [laughs]  That was funny.

  Sara : Listen, Chip, I understand the courage it takes to walk across a room and try to generate a relationship out of thin air, so don't take the following personally...

  Chip : You have fantastic eyes.

  Sara : [chuckles]  Thanks, try to listen. I... uh, this is no reflection on you, I'm just not interested. But thank you for the compliment of coming over.

  Chip : You're welcome. So, do you like Cuban food?

  Sara : Chip, seriously, that wasn't code for "I wish you'd try harder".

  Chip : Are you always so shut down and afraid? That the right man might make you feel...

  Hitch : [puts a hand on Chip's shoulder]  ... Feel like a natural woman?

  [laughs] 

  Hitch : Sorry, I'm late, honey, I couldn't get a cab. How was the meeting?

  Sara : Ooh. Well, there was a beginning, a middle... and an end. Nice to meet you, Chip.

  Chip : [stands up to walk away]  You, too.

• Sara : Relationships are for people who are just waiting for something better to come along.

• Sara : [on the phone talking to Geoff]  Did I call it or did I call it? I mean, what did I say, six months? And when was her first date? So five-and-a-half? God, I hate it when I'm right. I mean, what is it about guys that makes them want to screw anything that walks, even when they're going out with someone as awesome as Allegra Cole? I mean, she's only the single most fabulous thing walking around New York.

  [takes a paper from the newsstand] 

  Sara : Thanks, Young.

  [back to phone] 

  Sara : Are you kidding? Of course I'm going to run it! Why should she waste her heart on some Swedish aristo-brat, even if he is gorgeous? Hey, if he's stupid enough to cheat, then the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught.

• Vance : Okay, okay. How much will it cost me to stay out of this?

  Sara : I don't want money. I want a name.

  Vance : I don't know his name.

  Sara : Well what do you know?

  Vance : I know this.

  [hands her Hitch's business card] 

  Vance : All this for a lousy lay. Are we satisfied?

  Sara : Almost.

  [knees Vance in the crotch] 

• Sara : So how'd you meet him?

  Casey Sedgewick : I was in La Perla just buying some weekend thongs.

  Sara : And he was doing likewise?

  Casey Sedgewick : No. Actually he said he was buying something for his mom.

  Sara : His mom? Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie for their mother?

  Casey Sedgewick : Well, maybe he was looking for a robe.

  Sara : Oh Casey. Casey, he was hitting on you while he was buying lingerie for another woman.

  Casey Sedgewick : Well, I prefer the mother story.

  Sara : I know you prefer it, but that's not the point.

  Casey Sedgewick : No, the point is I'm not gonna start out assuming the guy's a liar.

  Sara : Why not?

  Casey Sedgewick : Because, that's how you wind up...

  [pause] 

  Sara : Like *me?* Is that what you were gonna say?

  Casey Sedgewick : No, I was going to say 'like you.'