Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando (2003 Video Game)
David Kaye: Clank, Arena Announcer, Robot, Hypnotist Head 2, Employee
Quotes
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Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Welcome!
Ratchet : What the...?
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : I'm Abercrombie Fizzwidget; founder of the Megacorp company in the Bogon galaxy.
Ratchet : Bogon?
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : I'm sorry to incapacitate you, but our entire galaxy is in a very precocious situation. I must humbly request your sustenance, on a mission of dire urgitude. A mission of superfluous peril. A mission of unequizical imperitude.
Clank : Did that make any sense?
Ratchet : So, you need me to go on a dangerous mission, in another galaxy.
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Indubitably. A few days ago this, top secret, biological experiment was stolen from our testing lavatory, by this duplitheros criminal mastermind and I need you to get the experiment back.
Ratchet : We'll do it.
Clank : We will?
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Prank I have precipitated your incalcitrance and made special improvisations for you. We're prepared to give you a job as the head accountant for Megacorp, plus a penthouse suite in lovely Megapolis, and our state of the art robotic masseuse.
Clank : [antenna flashes] Deal.
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : As for you Ratchet I'll need you in superfitory shape. While in transit to the Bogon galaxy, you'll undergo heavy training and conditioning including: martial arts, heavy weaponry, survival skills, stealth, macrame, ballroom dance and origami.
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[waking up from his electricity-induced coma]
Clank : The final digit of pi is...
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[first lines]
Interviewer : Welcome back to "Behind the Hero", tonight's heroes are the duo who recently restored peace and order to our galaxy: Ratchet & Clank. So gentlemen tell us about your latest incredible adventures.
Ratchet : Well as you can image, we've been pretty busy: After Drek's defeat there were parades, press conferences, fancy dress balls...
Clank : ...and the wiener roast at Al's.
Ratchet : Oh yeah that, and then things started to slow down a bit. After that we... well...
Clank : There was the grand opening at "Groovy Lube".
Ratchet : Right. I think that was, last week.
Clank : Six months ago.
Ratchet : We're still pretty busy, but in a more, uh, domestic sense.
Clank : Yesterday I flushed out my radiator core.
Ratchet : I guess... no one needs a hero right now.
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Ratchet : [about the Helix-O-Morph] What do you suppose is wrong with it?
Angela : Oh I don't know, it could take months of research and...
Clank : The battery is backward.
Captain Qwark : Oops.
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Ha! Imbecilic to the very last.
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Ratchet : Hey, there's Mr. Fizzwidget!
[Fizzwidget hums along to music playing in his ship and lands on top of Ratchet's ship, crushing it and knocking the heroes over with the shockwave]
Ratchet : Uh, what happened?
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Everything's fine, there was just a bit of debris on the landing pad.
Clank : That was our ship.
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Don't worry about it little fella, it's insured. So do you have the er... delivery?
[Clank hands him the experiment]
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Terrifulous. Come gentlemen, there is precious little time.
[they board the ship]
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Just sit back and relax boys, how 'bout a little flying music?
[presses the ejection button for the back row]
Ratchet : Aaaah!
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : [sheepishly] Oops.
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Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Hello?
Ratchet : Mr Fizzwidget! You're safe! Sir, brace yourself. We just saw a video of your experiment eating its handlers. I repeat, it eats its handlers.
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : [to someone offscreen] Ah, yes. No fat, extra foam, no sprinkles.
Ratchet : Mr Fizzwidget, do you copy? Anyone handling the experiment must exercise the utmost caution.
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : No, no, decafitated.
[to Ratchet]
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : What? Oh, yes, yes: exercise my front-most cushion.
Ratchet : Ugh.
Clank : Sir, your experts recommend that the experiment be liquidated, we will meet you at your deep space disposal facility.
Abercrombie Fizzwidget : Ah, yes: my cheap date proposal facsimile. Its heavily guarded so be sure to use the password. Which is, ah, oh, ah, Qwarktastic, yes. Toodleoo.