Midsomer Murders (TV Series)
Death in Disguise (1998)
Judy Cornwell: May Cuttle
Photos
Quotes
-
[after Craigie has been killed by a knife in the chest]
May Cuttle : Inspector, I know you think the master was probably murdered, but you are going about this in quite the wrong way!
D.C.I. Barnaby : And how would you describe his present situation?
Heather Beavers : Well, it's obvious. He's been astrally harvested.
[rolls her eyes]
D.C.I. Barnaby : Then how do you explain a carving knife stuck in his chest?
Heather Beavers : A celestial lance.
D.C.I. Barnaby : With "Made in Sheffield" stamped on it?
-
D.C.I. Barnaby : Bad moment?
May Cuttle : No, no. Memories, inspector. Grief and joy... mixing like pork and mustard. Not that I've had pork in years.
-
D.C.I. Barnaby : [deboning a fish] Greater love hath no fish that then he should lay down his life for my lunch. How's the sauce coming?
Joyce Barnaby : It's a wee bit lumpy. Tastes okay, though.
Cully Barnaby : You remind me of someone. It's either Raymond Blanc or Jack the Ripper.
D.C.I. Barnaby : You wait until you taste it.
Joyce Barnaby : It still looks a bit funny.
D.C.I. Barnaby : [Barnaby goes to throw the bones out when he sees May Cuttle] it's that May Cuttle from the lodge of the...
Cully Barnaby : Oh, the commune.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Yeah, the commune up the manor. She's here again. Say what you like, but I'm not here!
Joyce Barnaby : Leave her to me!
D.C.I. Barnaby : Treats me like her local Bobby!
Cully Barnaby : Well, because that's what you are, Dad.
Joyce Barnaby : I am, I can, I will get rid of her!
[pause]
Joyce Barnaby : Ms. Cuttle. Actually we just...
May Cuttle : This is terribly urgent!
Joyce Barnaby : Miss Cuttle, uh...
May Cuttle : [searches through the house] Um, Mr. Barnaby,
D.C.I. Barnaby : Yes, Miss Cuttle. How are you?
May Cuttle : I'm in the pink, Mr. Barnaby.
D.C.I. Barnaby : Oh, good.
May Cuttle : Alas, Mr. Carter is a definite shade of gray!
-
Arno Gibbs : I swear I had no idea there was a new will or that we were named in it.
May Cuttle : Of course, you know what it means, don't you?
Arno Gibbs : Tell me.
May Cuttle : With all our new responsibilities and everything, I'm afraid we shall have to grow up.