The Gamers: Dorkness Rising (2008)

Christian Doyle: Luster, Gary, Fastidian, Undead Fastidian

Quotes 

• Luster (male) : [after accidently killing Flynn]  So, how much experience do I get for the bard?

• Joanna : [after Drazuul moves after Luster's announcement of spell]  What happened to the spell?

  Gary : No good, Drazuul moves before me, blast me unless I have a barricade or something...

  Leo : [Leo looks up with great purpose and realization]  Hide behind the pile of dead bards.

• Lodge : I've got a new villain lined up. Got it from a friend. Sort of a ninja-swashbuckler... the Shadow.

  Joanna : [surprised]  The Shadow?

  Gary : [confused]  The Shadow?

  Mark : [scared]  The Shadow?

  [Mark runs off screaming] 

• Flynn the Fine : [singing]  Dear Goblin friends, dear Goblin friends, please hear my song...

  [Flynn gets shot with arrows by the Goblins] 

  Lodge : [rolls]  Yeah. Yeah, you're dead.

  Gary : [holds stopwatch]  At 29 minutes, 42 seconds. New personal best, Leo.

  Leo : There are so many places I could put that stopwatch!

• Gary : So, how much experience do I get for the peasant?

• Gary : I'm a wild mage. WILD! But you losers can call me "sorceress". That's right. I'm playing a chick.

  Leo : Dude, you hot?

  Gary : Seventeen charisma.

  Leo : Wanna have sex?

  Gary : Totally.

  Leo : Great! I seduce him, uh her.

  [Leo rolls his die] 

  Leo : Yes! I can totally seduce any homophobe with that roll!

  Lodge : We *haven't* started yet. You guys *haven't* met!

• Gary : [voice-over]  What is that?

  Lodge : [voice-over]  The Heart of Therin. Legend has it the gem is composed of solid light.

  Gary : [voice-over]  Can I steal it?

  Lodge : [voice-over]  Well, considering it is one of the holiest symbols of the church and that the cathedral is swarming with paladins, that would most likely be suicide. Go right ahead.

• Luster (male) : If this is about that farmer, I totally thought he was a demon.

• Luster (male) : You know, you're unlike any other woman I've ever met.

  Daphne : Right back at ya.

  Luster (male) : So fast, so strong. Like steel wrapped in silk. A man could lose himself in those eyes.

  Daphne : A *man* could, yes, but apparently I must remind you that you're a woman.

  Luster : [pause]  ... of course I am. I don't suppose you'd be interested in a little girl-on-girl ac...

  Daphne : [grabs Luster's arm and puts it in a hold]  You don't *really* want to finish that thought, do you?

  Luster : I'll take that as a 'no.'

  Daphne : Good girl.