- Jon Culshaw: [as Russel Crowe] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the armies of then north, and General of the Felix Legions. Loyal servant to the true Emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband a murdered wife, but that's when I called Claim's Direct.
- Simon Pegg: I was thinking, why didn't we do another series of Spaced.
- Jessica Stevenson: Because you're a wanker.
- Dylan Moran: Thanks Jess and Simon. Actors, both great comic actors.
- [pause]
- Dylan Moran: Actors are... terrible people.
- Alistair McGowan: Robert DeMatteo, so Italian. You hear that name, you can see the terracotta rouge, you can smell the ciabatta bread, you can hear those little Vespas going 'phut phut' down Italian roads... Roberto De Matteo... translate into English 'Bob Matthews'.