Evil Dead: Regeneration (2005 Video Game)
Ted Raimi: Sam
Quotes
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Sam : Hey, who left the stove on? Know what this furnace reminds me of?
Ash : I have no idea.
Sam : Johnny Sticks. Him and me, we used to be connected.
Ash : Connected to what? The union of verbally challenged half deadites?
Sam : You know, "connected"! Me and Sticks, the guy was thin as a toothpick, we were top earners.
Ash : I thought you were an ice cream driver.
Sam : I was a lot of things, you know for cover. Me and Sticks used to pose as chimney sweeps, sneaking out of furnace vents with the loot. Sticks must have put on a couple of pounds cause he got himself stuck. Furnace comes on and *boom*! Then, err...
Ash : And then you played "pick up sticks" right?
Sam : I don't deserve sarcasm.
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Sam : You ever got an itch you can reach but probably shouldn't be scratchin'? Hee hee!
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Sam : So, you wanna swap stories on how we lost our virginity?
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Ash : Hey Napoleon, open that gate for me and make it snappy.
Sam : I don't know who you think you are, but I demand respect!
Ash : Oh, you want respect? Then stop complaining to my crotch!
Sam : OOOOH! You just made a big mistake buddy, you've messed with the wrong midget! I'll shove my boot so far up your ass, you need a shoe horn to swallow!
Ash : Well, even your temper's short!
Sam : The portal's is this way. We'll need to find a way around.
Ash : No, no. YOU need to find away around.
Sam : Don't push me, two-stroke!
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Sam : Don't you just hate long silences?
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Sam : Wanna see a party trick? Gimme a watch and twenty bucks!
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Sam : You what I miss about being alive? Pedicures!
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[Reinhard is about to sacrifice Sally when he gets shot from behind by Ash]
Ash : Knock, knock.
Sally : ASH!
Dr. Reinhard : ASH!... impossible.
[Ash and Sam recoil from Dr. Reinhard's ugliness]
Ash : We should consider ourselves lucky runt, he could of set up shop in the house of mirrors.
Dr. Reinhard : I underestimated you Ash, and you too Sam. how are you my little failed experiment? Still DEAD I'm guessing?
Sam : Real funny you sadistic nutjob, why don't you... go hump a stump!
[everyone pauses for a minute and Reinhard looks confused]
Ash : Er, why don't you let me handle the witty banter from now on?