Postal (2007)

Chris Coppola: Richard

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dude : [Holding up a detonator while everyone is shooting at him]  Bomb!

  [Shooting fades] 

  Dude : Big bomb-that-could-take-out-a-whole-city-block bomb!

  [Shooting stops] 

  Dude : Do I have your attention?

  [pause] 

  Dude : What's wrong with you people? You're all busy trying to blow up the world in the name of God! Newsflash, fucktards: God doesn't need your help! He's GOD!

  [Patriotic music plays] 

  Dude : And He... She... It... They gave you life... and you're wasting it! Look around you. Look.

  [pause] 

  Dude : Look, god damn it!

  [everyone looks at each other] 

  Dude : See? We're not that different. That's because we all come from the same family called "Humanity". And what do families do? Do they fight? Yeah, but they work it out. That's because they love each other... and that they know they're stuck with each other. Just like how we all are. Here on this big crazy mudball we call Earth. So come on, guys! Let's try to find some common ground here.

  Richard : Uh, well... we all hate Jews!

  Mohammed : [Everyone seems to agree] 

  [to a Taliban] 

  Mohammed : Everybody knows that.

  Dude : No, not a hate thing!

  [Everyone groans in disappointment] 

  Dude : A happy thing! I think it's time to empty our hands of guns and fill them... with hugs.

  [Everyone starts crying and holding hands] 

  Dude : If you want to waste this precious gift we call life, I can't stop you. So, go ahead: Shoot... or

  [spreads arms out] 

  Dude : hug.

  [pause] 

  Mohammed : [Nods]  Shoot him.

  Dude : [Everyone opens fire at Dude who goes back behind the car]  YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!

• Richard : [on the walkietalkie]  This is Anne Frank. Hitler 2, come in.

• Richard : [about the terrorists]  They only want to spread the flu in the United States. So, in order to fufil the prophecy in Dave's bible, we must wipe out the entire planet... WHICH brings us to you, Mr. Verne Troyer!

  Verne Troyer : [to Uncle Dave]  If he wrote anything about me in that book, you and I are gonna have a serious problem!

  Richard : [Reading from Dave's Bible]  And you shall know that the final day of reckoning will be at hand because on that day, a tiny entertainer will be RAPED by A THOUSAND MONKEYS!

  Verne Troyer : That's it! I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!

  Uncle Dave : [regretfully]  I'm so sorry, but-

  [gets attacked by Verne Troyer] 

  Richard : [as the Babes are restraining Verne]  No! Stop him! Stop him! We must do as God commands! BRING ON THE MONKEYS!

• Uncle Dave : Ritchie, am I the only one who doesn't know of a fuckin' bomb shelter in my room?

  Richard : It's not a bomb shelter, Uncle Dave.

  [Opens vault] 

  Richard : It's a God shelter!